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WillNova (0-0) vs Thekid_Sense (0-0)
Topics
The Hand that Helped me Fall Only For the Righteous Tears of the Dead Just a dream... The Shadow Behind Me The Last Mile Circle of Time Sentenced to Love Blooded Placement As the Dawn Fades Through the Glass Of Hate and Love My Sirens Mourn Farewell... The Blade that wouldn't Cut A River Called Life ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Check ins due by Tuesday Verses Due by Thursday Voting Ends Saturday Minumum of 16 lines You can now do your own topic, instead of doing the same one. If you are unsure of the rules click here Good luck and drop dope |
Check..Hey Will What topic you want?...just post in your check in...
Im leaning towards.. Farewell...,Circle Of Time, The Shadow Behind Me... |
Checkin in, yup.... lets go wit the shadow behind me.... thas strayt
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Yo...imma try and make this..my bro got into a wreck recently and i been out of it in writing...ill try to do it...
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ayo I would like to say sorrie bout ya bro..... hope everything is good money
The shadow behind me..... peter pan complex, the fierce shadow boxer// our battles solder our lives like conjioned toddlers// destroyed monster, I grow from my past mistakes// a grasp in faith, helps me to unmask my fate// a castaway, prayin to God to relieve my stress// as I walk thru the valley in the shadow of death// these hassles reflect, personality and growth// my will to cope, and contend wat demons promote// the antidote, God is love and insight// so the only shadow that I allow to surround, gives light// angelic type, the sort no other can outlast// avoid ur task only to be haunted by the past// the blak binder, ya shadow is there as a reminder// think ur tracks finer and use ya pride as a blinder// ya lack advisors, I acquire a peice of mind// the fine design thas infectin the human kind// the lines inscribed, so sublime, it must be God// disguised as the form that follows as we trod// holdin staff and rod to relax and comfort me// The shadow behind me will always give me company// |
I walk Slowly, Something Follows Me Turn As A Shadow Starts To Swallow Me,
The Past Has Passed, But I Can't Help But Face The Fact That Somethings Calling Me, Back, I've Walked Into Hell And Made A Return Only To Face Myself Again, My Shadow's My Only Enemy But It Resides In Me Until The Very End, Eating At My Soul, Not Contempt Of Being A Vessel For Mysteries Untold, But Rather It Chips Away At Me, I let The Shadows Remain, Without I Would Be Unwhole... Each Step Is Strengthening, Until I Can't Breath And What Seems Impossible, Is Eatin Me As Shadows Rip Open The Seams And It Becomes Plausible, I Scream At Myself, The Floor, The Sky, The Sun, Everything As I Grieve, It's Following, Night And Day Can't Escape, What Does It Want From Me?, I Cry Tears Blend With the Stars and Fall Onto A Shape That Shouldn't Exist, It Should Have Faded When The Sky Darkened And The Sun Dipped... Now I Sit Amist Shadows That Talk And Whisper About A Past I Escaped, Blank Look Upon My Face As I Try To Block Out The Voices Of My Fate, I Repented For Sins Commited Against Man But Still I'm Haunted By The Damned, Ghosts Takened Form Of Myself And The Shadows Of My Fellow Man, These Shadows That Follow? Nothing But A Premonition Of What Hope Is, They Say Keep Enemies Close, Well This Is As Close As It Gets.. An Ex Murderer, These Shadows Of A Past That I Let Go, Now Priest In God's Graces, It's Unheard Of But I Accomplished Reviving This Dead Soul, Only To Live In A Shadow Of My Victim's Faces.... 1 |
Ok I have a dilema with this one. Both dropped pretty decently, not amazing but decent. I had problems with both of your layouts though. WillNova had that gay /// and txt spelling thing going and Sense's lines were very stretched at times. Sense probably had a better concept for his topic but as in many cases, the execution was lacking. The last line of his verse was really nice though.
'An Ex Murderer, These Shadows Of A Past That I Let Go, Now Priest In God's Graces, It's Unheard Of But I Accomplished Reviving This Dead Soul, Only To Live In A Shadow Of My Victim's Faces....' ^If your whole verse was like that you'd have walked away with this. But the middle of your verse was pretty boring to be honest and I had to force myself to read on. Will used lots of multies which does make a piece more readable, if it's not full of imagery and metaphors. His vocablarly was also better and if he had used proper spelling and a good layout he would have walked away with this also. As it was I'd say WillNova's was a more interesting read, as the middle of Sense's verse let him down. V/ WillNova |
ahh lol my style for topicals is wierd sometimes, and i didnt really pick it up cuz this is my first in a while...lol i usually try to shock with the last line....or at least swing the story in a different way.but thanks for the advice next time i'll try and keep it all interesting and still swing it...
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wel this was both decent real good....kid i felt like apo, he is right you should have done your whole style like that cus it was more creative..plus your vocab was there but i felt your verse in the start and middle was kinda iffy and BLAH but your ending was WOW!...
Willnova yourverse was splendid but kill those lines man its hurting your structure and its kinda herbish but your story telling and choice of delivery was executed well i would flow off of it homie nice....im guessing you were like rapping as well as typing it right along?!..if so..well done! nova takes it sorry!. kid sense you couldve wone im telling you but half your verse was meh!. |
Alright..
Hoenstly, I wasn't really feeling either of your verses... WillNova...Your structure was good, though stretched and too short in places. Your vocabulary was okay in places, but in alot of parts it was pretty basic. You kinda related to the topic, but I felt that you could have followed it a bit more. Overall, it was an okay verse. the second half I thought didn't make much sense, but it was decent. Kid Sense...Your structure was way too stretched. Your lines were like full sentences...try to avoid that. Your vocabulary was decent in places, but basic in most. Use of imagary was kinda there...but I wasn't feeling your verse much at all. You did not stay on the topic very well either. Overall...both need to elevate, but I think Willnova took this. |
Nova Wins 3-0
WillNova (1-0) TheKid_Sense (0-1) |
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