First Love...
 

hey this is my first open mic so take it easy on the feedback....

Take a second and close your eyes and remember your first love…

First Love pt.1

From the first second I saw her vibrant visage…
To the initial moment I felt that first lip massage…
Everything surrounding me just seemed to slow down…
To the point where peoples smiles turned into frowns…
I suddenly felt a familiar, affectionate, soothing feeling…
My heart rate picked up from the ground to the ceiling…
It felt as though I’ve met this person from another life…
To not know but yearn to was like a heart to a knife…
Oh to be with her would be the high point of my day…
It wouldn’t matter what month, March, June, or May…
I knew we would be together, I even saw us forever…
But would fate take its place in this fantasy endeavor…

First Love pt.2

Unluckily I was right, it seemed that her parents had other plans…
Different than what we had created, with our own bare hands…
We were hoping to get married, even looking forward to an infant…
Her father got a job offer, she was moving, and my heart broke that instant…
There was nothing we could do except hope he’d change his mind…
We were 16, thought about running away, where nobody could find…
It was inevitable, that very instant we would have to separate…
During that moment, my Spirit and Heart rate began to levitate…
I emotionally died that second, the minute I saw her walk away…
I was heartbroken, ventricles pumped out depression without delay…
Some say you’re only allowed 3 great women, 3 like no other…
Never though I could love again, that is until I met another…

uppin 4 feedback....bad or good....

Nice man Little better then mines. It is a good one. Could ya view mines and leave feed back?

loved it....only misliked one line(looked forced)
style reminds me of mine (that's a good thing..lol)
straight shit homie!
9/10
dont stop droppin em!
*u should think about making dis audio*
if ya wanna do a text collab hit me up!
we can decide a topic
*pm me*
*werd*

aiight thnx fam..ill hit you up later about some of that...anyways...uppin 4 more feedback..

uppin 4 feedback..................................

cmon people...uppin for feedback...

good shit bro, tru shit and i think i kno who ur talking about...ne wayz this almost brought a tear mayne, u kno i was in tha same perdicument
9.5 out of 10

stucture has improved.....it was on topic good vocabulary of use....this was dope....feelin this alot...keep dropen like this man your gettin better everytime...weerd....8/10

uppin 4 feedback........

uppin 4 feedback.....

uppin for feedback................................

this shit was nice, but kinda simple to me..i was feeling it, u had some nice shit in there.....keep doing this shit, reall talk , you can only get better

aiight thnx for the feedback.....uppin

uppin........................