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.K.onfliktz vs. H-N-I-C
This Is The First Round So Records Will Not Be at stake.
But if you no show you will have your post cut in half. You Must Vote in 2 other battles after you post yours or you will be DQ’d and will have your post cut in half. Check In’s Due Before Tuesday March 15 Verses Due Before Thursday March 17 First to 3 Votes Win’s.. 2-0 = KO Remember, everything is in Pacific Time. If you do not know what that is then too bad. Topic: Insanity |
easy win....checkin in
HNIC do yourself a favour and do not check in.. |
nah he has to check in or else he looses all his or umm half his posts
30 linex max...30 linex max...30 linex max... |
Checkin in...guess its go time
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Alright...here goes nothin, this is my first topical...its about goin insane in solitary confinement
Stone gray walls, the stench of stale sweat in the air Trapped in the depths of America’s evil government lair Stay strong and do not falter, don’t you dare surrender One day you’ll be out this hell, seen in all of ya splendor But the weeks turned to months, and the months into years And it was clear no one on earth gave a fuck about ya tears Left in that fuckin room all alone with ya thoughts If we a peek inside ya mind we’re sure to be distraught A deteriorated soul hugged by pain and distress Bonded by the walls of solitary without chance to digress The first days are the worst, time is a mystery Chalk markings on the wall to keep tabs on history The seconds last eternally as if life is at a halt You’re the Quazimodo inmate, locked up in a vault 22 hours at a time without human interaction No mind stimulation to create a brain distraction They want all of your focus on the Hell ya trapped in It’s all a psychologic plot…that’s where insanity begins You start to twitch a lil bit because the room is so small Claustrophobia develops, you feel trapped by the walls The room’s darkness colors your soul, it crayola’s ya essence Left with very little light, equal to the moon’s crescent You try to sleep all of the day, but you can’t close ya eyes Because your sent to hell in dreams, and your ready to die You scream with all ya might until ya lungs collapse Hopin someone’ll pity you…maybe a little perhaps Now a month has elapsed, your brain’s no longer in tact Now you wanna grab a gat and put a cap in ya back You never thought that you’d be broken, not in this lifetime Now you insane hardly copin…..hopin for a lifeline |
Oh yeah, for got to put this. Quazimodo is the Hunchback of Notre Dame, that got locked away in a bell tower...(line 14)
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..Sittin Silently in the Wooden chair, Waiting for the doctor, patiently.. ..Drunk driving quickly turned Deadly, I Kept tellin' her to wait for Me.. ..Now My girl lay motionless in the Mustang covered in blood stains.. ..Told me that she Must Bang, wasnt scared to die, she loved pain.. ..Tips hit the gas tank..exploded..Flames Quickly left her ass Blank.. ..Police quickly came, Tightly Secured As if it was The Dundas Bank.. ..Ambulances appeared..shits Hectic, amazed at the Car Reckage.. ..It took me a second, but i regained focus, Time For Chin Checkin.. ..Grabbed the Auto................and a couple G's I won in the Lotto.. ..Clips fully Loaded, Kon's about to leave these niggaz brains hollow.. ..Im goin' Insane, Rolled slowly in the range, Blasted at the window pain.. ..Robbed the Nigga..Jacked his Kicks...Cellphone, And Ninentdo Games.. ..Before we bounced, My Boi screamed Look out, alarmed by a shout.. ..I ducked as he charged with the Knife, released one in his mouth.. ..On to the next Kid...Startin to get wreckless, I held my cross necklace.. ..Saw him slangin, grabbed the Machette and Cut His fuckin Neck, Shit!.. ..Wanted For Man slaughter, didn't care, I had a Fuckin Daughter.. ..And thanks to these Nasty fucks, Mother? My Kid Never saw Her.. ..Now im in the Whip. wit empty clips, Fuck It, Parked the car, n dipped.. ..Runnin through the block, Run by Crackheads and the West side crips.. ..Losin my mind, i can't take it, wonderin if me livin was a mistake, Shit!.. ..Dropped the Clip Trased with my finger prints, down in the sewer,N'.. ..Cops on my ass, Im runnin' faster, Fuck It, One In The hole. Bang!!.. ..Couldn't do it..shot the cop in the head, All Sudden Shots Rang... ..At the same time, my gurl was on the flatline, Watch as da halo shine.. ..still on the run i had a kid i couldn't go out. i ducked just in time.. ..Ran to a dead end...............Between a Cliff and the Police Squad.. ..I jumped off...Now i can be with my gurl...No signs of my bod.. |
Nice verse Kon...shit in tha words of Jigga "What more can I say???"
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It's obvious K.onflikt took this H-N-I-C's verse was good for his skill level his imagery was alright and the story wasnt that bad but then compared to K's verse it just didn't compare on the same level
"..Now My girl lay motionless in the Mustang covered in blood stains.. ..Told me that she Must Bang, wasnt scared to die, she loved pain.. ..Tips hit the gas tank..exploded..Flames Quickly left her ass Blank.. ..Police quickly came, Tightly Secured As if it was The Dundas Bank.." ^ I liked this part of your verse good imagery vocab and all overall this was a good battlle between the both of yall but K took it. Vote - K.onfliktz |
this is simple to me............
kon - i thought your verse had good structer ok rhyme scheme.....there wasnt much for vocab and story was realy just boring....its that gangsta talk shit i dont like it that much....sorry it justs gits on my nerves.....in text......but realy the story was pretty simple nothing good realy it was ordinary....but no hate hnic - i thought your verse had ok structer....realy good energy and emotion.....and descriptive languge....which translates into good imagery....keep it up this was pretty good for your first outing.....you got that mind of a wrighter so just expand your story concepts a bit and you'll be coo....... v/hnic |
HNIC:
really impressed with your verse. great imagery and emotion. The depth was good. you didnt dtop at the surface of the topic you went beneath it and described how everything was, never missing a detail. The flow was decent structure was good. And most of all you stuck to the topic the whole way through. good story line also overall: 8.5/10 Konfliktz: Your verse was hott.......... for an open mic. Im sorry man but you only hit the actual topic a couple of time. and the whole first part of your verse had nothing to do with the topic. I understand that you were telling a story and leading up to why you became insane. But you wasted way too many lines on it. Get into the topic quickly or people are gonna judge like how im judging. Your emotion was decent structure was decent, good flow wordplay and multies. Imagery was dope. But you didnt hold on to the topic you kinda sifted away from it all together and for that reason alone you lost. overall : 7/10 vote: HNIC |
no accually i would of dropped harder if dabatos told me to drop NOW or my fuckin posts would get cut in half..and i didnt feel like dropping so i didnt try my best..simple
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Alright...
HNIC- Verse was pretty well written and had an alright structure... You had a few misusages with words... Solitary shoulda been solitude... Small stuff liek that. You wrote the topic well, and described the man/woman/things mindframe good. Kon- Ehh...Like flow said this would be good if it were an open mic... And had a different topic. You flowed, but only touched the topic in a few lines. It wasn't too in depth with anything, but had pretty good imagery. Vote-HNIC |
hmm...how could it be good for an open mic...it basically is an open mic with a topic....topicals are rapping with a topic right? this aint poetry...but i do agree with not touching on the topic though..
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Quote:
Topicals=Story=with emotion and imaginary............Just like poetry. :thumbup: |
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