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"Dont Kill Daddy" Ver. 1
[]My first actual written that i could temp at recording as a song. Its not perfect because i wanted to finish it in one night. What do you think? Specificaly what will and wont work in an audio....Thanx....
Ps: This is all true [] "Dont Kill Daddy" Hook: Dont Kill Daddy... (The man Will Change...) Dont kill daddy... (He dont realy mean to act strange) Dont kill Daddy... (hes upset and Old) Dont Kill Daddy... (Fine its either Juvie or Deathrow) Verse 1: Dark Energy, pumps through my veins, its pure emotion.... This man claimed devotion to his family but changed the Notion... I wonder if Lucifer ever noticed that it was me that never caused the comotion... even if i proved the man wrong! He never understood that I wouldnt always be coasting... Tempers flared, till the fire burned out and we looked at each other cold But all i know, Is he tried to break my ankle when i was only 13 years old... A weak impressional girl who tried her best to do as she was told, Trying to Unfold, her Hidden talents, and be strong without being scold, But how could she be Bold, When she was looked down upon like fucking mold, and was Never given the Time to be nurtured and Grow, Skipped out on childhood, Melded into steel plates that would never Fold... And like a climber, Held onto anything secure like it was gold.... But after a thousand nightmares, I could never imagine Jail or Deathrow.... Hook: (Imma get you back) Dont Kill Daddy... (The man Will Change...) Dont kill daddy... (He dont realy mean to act strange) Dont kill Daddy... (hes upset and Old) Dont Kill Daddy... (Fine its either Juvie or Deathrow) Verse 2: I cant ever be controlled, c'uz' ive bit through every chain and leash... dont temp me, cuz i can prove a point by knocking out teeth... Dad i cant recal, but i suspect it was you that said "never Be underneath" Dont follow like a sheep, 'Cuz your a leader, there, an all-time belife... and While he bows his head to "god" but is infact staring at the Devil.... And If i do the same....Amd i actualy stooping to his level?... So For a while ive been flowing on an Upwards Descent, Has Traveled to an Extent, of Killing just to vent, This hatred, im sure is soon to be a Reacuring Event... I will formaly file a complaint, So please guys, help me change one thing thats bent.... Hook: Dont Kill Daddy... (The man Will Change...) Dont kill daddy... (He dont realy mean to act strange) Dont kill Daddy... (hes upset and Old) Dont Kill Daddy... (Fine its either Juvie or Deathrow) Verse 3: Maybe if i was a boy, this burden wouldnt be so hard to cary, fuck dad! this isnt the military! ... I never grew up with you in-charge, 'know what? it was quite the contrary... but i guess you have to add the bloody mary's and thoughts of having to Remary... evenwhen i was lil, it never used to be this fucking scary... I never realy had to tread around you acting wary... as if i would have the conciquence of talking to Tom, Dick or Harry.. But now the Verbal Battering starts and the Drop of a Hat... And im not 6 foot 3, so im no use in the physical Backslash... But even though my weakness, I will learn to take Combat... But im warning you now, Please watch for weapons, even if they smaller than a bat... 'n I guess one day imma grow up to be just like you... And then imma watch my lil girl chant "dont kill mommy" too.... |
upin'... Lets go guys no one read it and can comment!?
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thats tight i think ur gonna have problems with the flow though
thats good and all thats true i made a song about my dad 2 |
shit was ill son keep postin' dog...........
one love......... |
*daughter...Im a girl "A weak impressional girl who tried her best to do as she was told, " hehe...No hate ;)
yeah ill work on flow...There are some parts that stick... |
i think dat shit was good nah i think it was hot
i told u 2 keep rappin like dat and yo shit would be better |
damn that is sumtin like my life keep it up dawg
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I duno man..Battle raps are way to shallow...I love open mics, topics and "meaningful" shit...
upin |
upin' 3
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[QUOTE=JiXi][]My first actual written that i could temp at recording as a song. Its not perfect because i wanted to finish it in one night. What do you think? Specificaly what will and wont work in an audio....Thanx....
Tempers flared, till the fire burned out okay this is how i see it jixi, it's all good except for this line,because it'z so eminem that it waz pick right out his a**.this'z in his songs like a thousand times.don't get me wronge i love em, jus' you using his lines that'z botherin me.so plz stop it'z not right to use another mc's lines or rhyms.so come up wit your own.if yoy can't then get off the website it is called rapbattles.com |
hey look girl, ya joint was fire, i loved it ya got
a real expanded vocabulary and u have dis talk style rap, like ur talkin n not rappin real ill keep workin on ur flow an yall be ill as me, im just playin keep it up |
an "tempers flared" aint no damn copyright of Marshals
or anything so use watever word u can concieve, stop bein a dickhead bugg |
Quote:
Im sorry...But i dont even LISTEN to eminem...You call yourself a rapper and you still DO? Sorry but Eminem lacks all multis, structure and vocab.. I wouldnt waste my time biting from him...If i ever INTENDED to bite i would bite something like Akrobatik, Atmosphere, or Canibis...So dont blow shit out of your ass you know nothing about. the phrase "Tempers Flare" is a popular phrase! Not like i ripped a metaphor like "I make Headlines like a Corderoy pillow"...Probly something that marshal could never think up anyways. |
yea, I like Eminem. I listen to him 24/7, yo. He is a good person to listen to if you are pissed off about shit. Anyways, that is for another topic.
As for this, I was feelin' this. Had nice vocab, and the flow was very good in the majority of it. Keep it up. I'd like to hear it if you ever record it. PEACE :thumbup: |
Thanx...Yeah got respect for em...but his music is starting to anoy me in its basicness...I listened to him 24/7 before i knew about underground...But there is so much better shit out there....
thanx for the feedback... peece |
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