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My Nigga
we are all one, divided by boundaries unknown, harvests unsewn to reap eqaulity..I am evil, i am led by my heart, my heart thats black as night and black as my nigga, and my nigga is a star, as bright as the sun... and i call him my nigga beause i want to erase the subtelties that divide us... i want to erase all the names of the states, why can’t we just live in...”that place” instead of the united states of america....”shit son, you ain’t never been to compton, shit nigga, you wern’t raised in the dirty at hell, and shit, ain’t none of us been to to the hollocaust, and we need a holocaust... .we need to be united, we need to understand that our hitler will destroy any nigga, unless he has blue eyes and blonde hair, and no race is safe from the hate that would take place... and if that day comes.. all my niggas can hide in my attic with me.. i have an addict with me, he smokes truth and drinks from the glass of fruit that never will be..because equality is truth, and the truth never will be, because the truth sets you free, and God knows a free man is a scary thing for capitalism... guess the color we've been painted is just a test to see who really digs art, and who just stands around in the gallery pretending to be intrigued when in reality, all they see is blank canvas, "oh you could do anything you want, you can be a doctor, a writer, a lover, a fighter" save it, sell your drugs known as dreams to those who don't see, a blind man can’t be a visionary..or can he? i know what i can be, i know what i can't be, i know what i will be, and i know that you giving me false hopes, false dope, to try and drug me and drag me into shoveling shit, into sacraficing myself so i can be something great in the long run, when I was born something great, i was born the son of the sun, the bastard child of the moon, the orphan of the universe, yet i was born free, free of hate, free of envy, free of greed, free of lust... you sell me your drug of a dream, making me hallucinate into wanting to be a basketball player, an actor, a lawyer, you make me see visions of freedom by bending the defitnion of light into a prism of lies , because as long as you hate me for calling you my nigga, neither of us are free, as long as there is a difference between you and me, you and I, I and you... you and me, you and I, I and you will all be slaves, you and me, you and I, I and you will all be inprisoned in the idea that we cannot share anything but the earth, You and I need to be We, I and you Need to be us, you and me need to be one. because when the one day comes, when we are left with nothing, we will have to share the sun, just like we did before you were my nigga, and back when you were a prince of africa, shit, maybe i could have been a prince with you had I been born there....or maybe if we switched places, your great grandchildren would have hated my grandfather.. raped my grandmother, and wore shoes that shine themselves because they are black, and i might have taught myself how to read, i might have sacraficed my life so my queens half white child could express himself better than just a scream, better than running slow in a dream because these chains are heavy, whether white or black i'll tell you this, i love to dream, because when i close my eyes, color doesn’t exist |
i gotta eat..i'll provide links soon
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this has 30 somethin views...and no responses..i know it's long...but read it..fuck..i'll return the favor
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What I liked about the piece was the interjection of speech by other characters. i feel the holocaust comparison was very strong and very well done. The whole piece was able to convey a message of what can be considered utopian. Your wording was really what shone which was great.
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well im nt a hater anyways what i liked about this piece was the voacabulary and imagery it was vivid, the structure has got to go wasnt feeling it, the emotion however was decent could of been more emotional....anyways not a totally bad read her man some decent writing displayed stay up.
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thanks for the feed my man, to explain the structure, it's spoken word, and i can definately understand why people would hate reading it, it sound 10 times better on my audio than it reads in text...and same with audio, the emotion is in my tone and volume, this was a pretty political piece...i didn't want to bury it's meaning in a bunch of detailed drawn out emotion, because i wanted people to focus on the essense of it..but your oppinion is respected..and i def understand it...thanks again
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impressed you still got it...nice shit its more audio written like on a beat i think thats the vibe i got when u was reading
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Eeeeeeh, didn't really like this piece. To me it just felt like a vent poem when it really should have given off such a stronger vibe than just that giving the concept you chose. I LOVED the concept, nice and original, racially provocative kind of like the poem I just posted awhile ago. But I dont know, the emotion just seemed false to me like your heart wasn't really in it, and the imagery wasn't all that strong and sometimes didn't even work really:
'my heart thats black as night and black as my nigga, and my nigga is a star, as bright as the sun...' I know what you're getting at and what you were trying to achieve with those lines but by including "black" as an adjetive you contradictid the meanings in your lines which compramised the impact of the statement in itself. To me this piece felt more like a strive for something new and thought provoking so much so that the ever important characteristic of athenticity was lost in its creation. Sorry man, just wasn't at the same level as I've grown to expect from you. |
No, using black as an adjective didn't contradict anything...it simply stated that color means jack....
I think you thought too in depth of this piece.. cause granted..It is not the best piece i've wrote..it is one of the better ones..the imagery worked great...for most people....and the imagery that your saying didn't work..is where the emotion was, so if you didn't get that..i can see how it would effect the rest of the piece.. but it's whatever..your entitled to your opinion and appreciate it....but you are the first writer i respect that has had anything bad to say about it...and theres really no explanation for that..besides the fact that..other people understood the things you didn't...but that's not here or there... thanks for the feedback |
No I understood the use of the noun in itself was a tool to nullify a hightend sensitivity towards the word nigger and black related topics... But to say something is "Black as the night" means that it is in-fact a dark color. Without adding "black" it would have made sense because by using "night" you'd get most readers to think of the night sky, but in the next line you could see you actually meant the night star... Which is illuminecint and bright. See what I mean?
(P.S., Keep up this activity... If you do, and you'd like, I'd be happy to mod you) |
yeah, you just thought too indepth of it..trust me..i know what your saying..but that's not where i took it..
it's all good though..no hate at all... lol...i would be happy to be a mod....that's actually funny..i was on rb thinking about being a mod for the 1-2 cypher eventually....but than i realised my small post count might make people say no...so i came to rv to see what i could do here... looks like we had some kind of connection goin on... damn you for readin my mind all the time.......i should masturbate more often |
Lol *Shakes Head* Get on AIM man
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I'm always on aim.........
I don't think you have my new one though.....it's suga2shane3 |
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