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Open Wound
...Static Over a Radio... Shots Fired,Officer Down i Repeat Officer Down! As the Bullet Pierced His Vest and Tore through his Lung.. He took a Deep Breathe as Blood Dripped off His Tongue.. ...Clear!.. Only God Could hear his Thoughts as they thrived to Save Him Oh God why Have you Placed Me Here on This Day.. Your Words i may Dis-obey But for My Life i Pray.. I put Myself on the Line day in and Out for Innocent Lives.. So as i Lay here Begging you to Give me Life to Let me Survive.. I Fear the Worst as I Converse With My Deepest Fear.. Give me Any sign of Aid Please Let me know your There.. How could My Children Grow up Without There Loving Dad.. My Wife Will be Torn Apart Her Life would Be Forever Sad.. Invisable Tears Leave Stains of Fear Down My Face.. Visions of My Familys Future Makes my Heart Race.. If I could Have only ForSeen this Tragedy but I was Blind.. Ready To Accept the Worse I Brace My Body and Mind.. ...As Her Phone Rings... As The Sgt. Tells her What Happend She drops to Her Knees Why Me?Why Has My Life been Plagued with This Tragedy.. I cant be Widow'd with No Love What will Happen to Me.. Can Anyone Comfort Me in My Time of Complete Disaster.. The thought of Lonlieness Stuck in My Mind Like Plaster.. My Insides Feel Like there Being Shred and Torn Apart.. I cant Restart My Life When i will Lose the Love in My Heart.. I Beg of You to Give him Life Hes my Heart Cant you Se.. As It May Be My Only Wish Let Him Come Home to Me.. ...As the Ambluance Stops... His Eyes Open with a Flash of Light He Hears With Replinished Life I give you Everlasting Love.. As your Heart Will See the Beauty of a White Dove.. So Take this Second Chance and Use it To the Best.. Cuase For you Life has Past Its Ultimate Test.. |
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Word, I already saw this one :thumbup:
Feel the emotion was the strongest aspect of this piece and I love how you portrayed it from different points of view. Emotion from the man as well from the woman were very strong and you worded everything in such a vivid way. I could picture everything as if it was a movie. Imagery was great as well, had flow on lock and structure was nice. Dope piece! |
yea, man, I'm really feelin' this shit. real good. I liked it. IT was real deep and shit. I jus think you should up vocab a bit more or jus add more multi's. other than that I really liked it. 9/10 pc
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This was a really good drop, i was really feeling it ,
you had lots of emotions , good feeling Lots of imagery , .. Structure was on point.. you had nice flow Wordplay n vocab was good .. You used very deep and poetic words, that created an image in the readers head , and that was really good Overall it was a good drop, keep it up |
Thnx for the Feed..Be expecting 2 drops a week of the Dopest shit youve ever seen ;)
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My Insides Feel Like there Being Shred and Torn Apart..
I cant Restart My Life When i will Lose the Love in My Heart.. I Beg of You to Give him Life Hes my Heart Cant you Se.. As It May Be My Only Wish Let Him Come Home to Me.. ^^my favorite part out of the whole thing.. i like the set-up... your imagery was there, structure was a nice build-up.. not even close to sloppy. this was a dope piece, the content was very well thought out, your effort is shown.. -GW Stay up, 1 |
nice shit here, flowed very well and had tite imagery and vocab, not much else i can say, very nice it was kinda short but was on the point, good shit fam.
9 / 10 |
Props....Always good to have hot feed ;)
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i liked this drop taken back your topical spot huh?
lol nice vocab nice lyrics nice topic too, imagery was nice and the overall concept and content was hot....keep it up 8.5/10 |
nice drop fasheezy........:thumbup:
the overall feel of the drop was nice and ya approached it well lookin at it from different perspectives n shit....it flowed good and structure was on point, the vocabs was nice but its nuthin i wudn't expect from ya............. overall 8/10 |
Why Me?Why Has My Life been Plagued with This Tragedy..
I cant be Widow'd with No Love What will Happen to Me.. Can Anyone Comfort Me in My Time of Complete Disaster.. The thought of Lonlieness Stuck in My Mind Like Plaster.. ^^made me cry...am here for u *buddy* Imagery was painty vividly amazin. well done |
Once agian thnx for the feed =)
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...................dayum
nice OM mayn.. thats all i got to "type" |
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