Corrupted Visions Presents: The True You
Verse 1
We've Been together so long i'm begining To see the True You!! Then i started to think about it and Look at youu in a New Veiw We started to fall apart but...hopefully our love will rise We will get back together and work things out above all Lies Love Never Dies but the New You only wanted me for attention When i asked if you still Liked me you would slap me At mention Now you Have Came and Gone you leave me with grief and sadness I am going Through Shit And living with Your Planned Madness Im just Glad This....true you i have seen before you hurt me more Words before was i love you now its i hate you.you dirt cheap whore Hook The true you something i didnt want to see But damn....how fucking mean can you be I dont love you let alone like you any more But Damn...you are a slut and i seen many whores Why do i still care for u its like im under voodoo But damn...I really fucking hate the true you Verse 2 Why did u change So Much i thought i would never feel this way Now nothing will ever heal this hate...cause i just feel dismay I lost ur Trust now when something bad happens you look at me The hole time we were together...it seems you were only acting u said To me Stop Hangen With other Gurls this is ur First Warning "ur a gay fucker i hate u" in a text that was the worst morning i said i was sorry for what ever i Did all youo said was "Go away" i kept thinken and it just got moreconfusen...this was slower day Before this happened i couldnt imagine What i would be like when u were bitching at me i thought.....Why should we fight?? Hook The true you something i didnt want to see But damn....how fucking mean can you be I dont love you let alone like you any more But Damn...you are a slut and i seen many whores Why do i still care for u its like im under voodoo But damn...I really fucking hate the true you Verse 3 Tha whole time we were together u never really trusted me Now When we see each other we fight for no reason...Must it be I guess cause the stress you caused me really hurts my chest None the less you surely arent blessed please let this pain rest Sometimes These you are too much to handle...i really hate you Its strange how much you have changed i would really mistake you Why Did I Agree i had been told what you were like its just not me when u left me u made me feel unwanted made me feel like No Body Bitch you dont know shit and you diffinetly you surely show it please Go back and blow dicks cause like a candle your glow flicks! Hook [x2] The true you something i didnt want to see But damn....how fucking mean can you be I dont love you let alone like you any more But Damn...you are a slut and i seen many whores Why do i still care for u its like im under voodoo But damn...I really fucking hate the true you |
thyz waz pritty good... glad u got outta that evan bar thing... i alwayz thought that threw off yo flow. The topik waz good but it 5eemed like the 5tory waz goin no were... not 5umtin that i would prefer to read but thyz waz a good read, not my thing thou. al5o if u threw more mutliez in that would probaly inhan5e the flow alot... all in all thyz waz a good peiĀ¢e... juz tri an get more de5kriptive.
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This was a good piece here man.....you had good structure in this....i must say you really are improving a lot man, you elevated a lot since i first met you, keep doing that...you had some good flow in this i thought, it stayed on pretty well....i dont know how you would add more multies to this like Yaz said when every line about had one lol, you were fine on the multies man...overall this was a nice piece here...made a good read, enjoyed it...keep at it man.
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yea Yaz it wasnt A story aiight man it was My Open Mic Drop For C.V. Its Not a story Ok Man...any thanks for the feedback so far its looking Good Any more???!!!
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well....i liked thid piece....good open mic
the structure in this piece was good...your metas and wordplay were on point as usual...good job there.... flow was very catchy....there wasnt any real Dull moments in the piece.... even tho it wasnt a story...it told a good line, topic was consistant throughout overall i liked the piece it was dope.... me u n credz gonna collab and drop somethin legendary soon....beleve dat 8.5/10 |
Uppin this Thanks For the Feedback So Far Keep It Flowing In.....PeacE.....
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Personally , .. i didnt like the immagery u used..was kinda erm made., .. like forced immagery .. i wsnt feeling that , .. u flow on the other hand was good, .. & usage of vocab was on point aswell.. hook was catchy , .. nice..but still u got a long way to go.. but u got potential , i enjoyed most parts of it .. only u didnt convince me enough..of this being reality..or being a reflection of it..still not bad.keep dropping, ..:)
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..always a good read..but..to be honest..I've seen better from you..but..far as the rhyme..good flow..good wordplay..I thought imagery was pretty decent..nice work~
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^^Thanks Man
Uppin This |
I agree with penskills and Edicius I have seen better writtens from u and your imagery did seem like it was forced, not that this wasn't a good piece or anything but this type of topic isn't really my thing but as far as your rhyme go's though u had really good flow and structure I thought their could have been more use of vocab though and some more multi's would've made this piece shine but keep up the work man. peace.
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well i agree that ths had a good flow going, and was quite well worded,... i agree that the imagery could have been better, but some was decent, and your scheme is improving, jus keep building on it..... i would say that some spots could use some more expressive vocab... but...
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^^ Thanks Y'all
uppn this |
Not your best peice but it was allright, good flow and nice vocab, overused topic tho, well i took my time from my busy life to hit this up when i shouled be studying for french, fuck french tho i hate it i jus like it cuz ppl call me antoine in there, i dont like my other name, back to you, what you need to work on in this peice in rhyme sheme, basicly in the 1st verse though that couled use a little bit of improovement
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^^Thanks Man
Uppin This |
Lines were well structured! i like this piece, you didn't hate on females, but you pointed out that there are too many whores in the world today..which is not far from the truth...good, honest drop...keep em coming, throw in more multis!
Go Corrupted Visionz! |
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