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Unbalanced World
aight, here's my other VE piece that has yet to get feed.....if i could get some, that'd be just dandy :)
Unbalanced World i lived my life, where i was never accepted even though i didn't try, i was still rejected never suspected, that a reason was my family dad an unemployed drunk, but that aint the tragedy mom worked 2 jobs, and we barely came out even she deserved better, but had no time for dreamin got me steamin, and paps leaving.... such a bitch said "i only was with you, cause your daddy was rich" i could never make up, for all the things mom gave me kicked outta her home at 15 cause she was having a baby it seems like my fault, but she tells me im a fool but it doesnt really matter because im hated at school an unwritten code, youre only cool if you have alot of friends suppose to awe and drool over the latest fashion trends but i dont blend very well with the every-day crowd i can feel the hate, even though its not spoken out loud and like a cloud in the sky, passing by not making a sound until a storm brews and my innocent body takes a pound ive hit the ground many times, but i always rise above they may force their hate upon me, but cant take away my love im a dove in this world, tryin to fly freely through air but instead im hurled, cause its a fact life isnt fair you can swear all you want, even try 1000 prayers gotta learn to do it on your own, cause not everyone cares ive made alot of mistakes, but i dont let them ache because whats the point of trying, when everone else is fake for heavens sake, why cant things run smooth and work how does one make a respected repuation by being a jerk?... i live in an unbalanced world, every day theres disruptions life is like a volcano...its filled with constant eruptions theres going to be corruption, but i do the best with whats given cause things couldve been alot worse, im just thankful im livin http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=185808 |
this was really good i liked the way you told the story very good... 9.5
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^ thanks, uppin
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^what he said..
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nice, Kess
ya had nice flow, an the vocab was on top of its game as ever with you.....creativity an the scheme of the peice was highly on point, it was an enjoyable drop ta read actually had meaning, people seem ta not wanna drop rhymes with reason, an they also dont wanna peep them, this should not be slept on... an unwritten code, youre only cool if you have alot of friends suppose to awe and drool over the latest fashion trends ^^^ that was creative, an i like the ''awe an drool'' expression, gave the bar some flava an ''trend'' :thumbup: lol... on the real tho....ya told some real life related rhymes an made it work ta good effect......dope peice, keep the real hip hop coming man! |
Yea cuzzin dis shit was Fire........i give it a overall 8.5/10....good flow strucutre was ok wordplay was on.....~1~
RTF heres da link http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=187445 |
word, i'll get to RTF a little later on
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Word , Another Dope Drop from you..
Damn Kesse keep it up .. you really out doing yourself Nice Imagery , Really used lots of creative words.. and some nice vocab usuage and wordplay,.. Nice structure...You really grabbed the concept .. and really told a dope story, nice Topic.. Keep it up |
hey i dint lyke it i lyke da gangster shit nd diz wuz 2 deep fo my liking i only reed 4 linez and i dont wnt 2 hurt u wit dem commentz i wuz being reel ok
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^ haha, lmao, well, thats cool that you like 'da gangster shit'....im happy for you, but if you didn't like it, why did you post? haha, that struck me as odd....
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not my type of open mic, but i can still appreciate what udoin. u had good flow and u did a good jobtellin a story in ya rap, uwent old school on niggas this time lol. but ya had some hotbars in there and it was easy to follow and made sense. RETURN THE FAVOR, preferably in the affinity or change thegame open mic, links are in the sig, holla at me....1..
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word, i'll get to it.....
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