|
LM (Perfection) vs Whitelightning
Topic: Barbaric Visions
Lines: 30 Max Due: Wednesday, January 29th No Crew No D/R No Hate |
checkin in...
checkin in... checkin in... checkin in... checkin in... checkin in... checkin in... checkin in... checkin in... checkin in... |
Yeah checkin in.......so now I can finally log off. I've been tryin to for the last 30minutes. But people keep stoppin me
|
I'm not sure whether I can meet the deadline....I'll try but I'm busy
|
Ok...I made it. I aint had time to prepare so I'll just key somethin up
|
Here we go....
There's a side to me which is unknown, it's mystic People say I'm tame but really I'm just sick, sadistic I'm just a statistic, just another man, I'm derranged I'm jekyll, I'm hyde, anything can get me enraged The first stage is when you simply speak my name Your voice annoys me, I aint goin through this again My head, I feel pain, my heart beats at a faster pace Now I'm imaginin you, I've punched you in the face Choke you with my shoe lace, snap your legs + arms I got shit against you, but I'm a do you some harm There's sweat in my palm, I'm breakin out in warts But it aint real, there just barbaric thoughts... ^^only 12 lines but it's almost midnight so I cant be arsed |
*We all live lives without any worry...but do we ever wonder who's in power...*
Declared Elected To Absolute Power All That Work For This Shining Hour Millions Of Beings Become My Little Puppets The Life Version Of Henson's Muppets I May Have The Tabulated Majority But No Guarantee Or Any Warranty Could Order An Action At The Press Of A Button Can't Hear The Bombs So I Think Of Nuttin' Walkin' Home From School Or Playin In The Park Can't See Em Comin And It Ain't Even Dark Those Houses You Worked, So Hard To Get Mud And Bricks, Your Habitat Is Set It Will Be Obliterated Without Any Feeling Gives Me Pleasure To See The Poor Kneeling I Make Six Figures While You Eat Dirt I Live In Calm While You Stay Alert You Con My People To Rush And Adopt That Face On TV Is A Marketing Flop Your Life Is In Ruins From Your Corrupt Dictator He Takes Those Tips Like A Greedy Waiter Your Lieing Moutherfuckas, Your Children Aren't Affected Fuck, I'll Look Out My Window...Unexpected What I See Is Those Kids With Nowhere To Go No Dinner 'cept Garbage, Not Even A Home I Wanted This Spot, Did So Much Ass Kissin' Didn't Lookout My Window Or Ever Even Listen Gotta New Agenda With Fresh Decisions I Must End These Obsurd Barbaric Visions |
uppin....need some votes...come on..vote on this...stop sleeping on the lines...need votes to end..uppin.
|
Obviously White Lightning won this...
He hit the topic with better imagery and stronger emotion and better vocab. A much more meaningful message than LM brought. I guess you were sleepy, dog... Cuz you set aside effort as well as verse length. And spit a simple, plain ole, everyday Open Mic rant. Man, dude... Don't do that again. Peace White Lightning. |
V/ WL, he took the topic, way better than lm, .. better immagery, good flow, .. & good vocab , .. Lm had some nice lines, .. but Wl wrote just better than him in this one, .. keep writing tho, u got some potential ... pz.
|
V/wl
Lm's was cool, but white lightning went deeper with it. He had the imagery that lm lacked a little. It just seemed like he put more time in his verse, so it came out much clearer than Lm. It seemed like it was one steady story, as with LM, one second he was describing his mistic personalit, and the next second he was breaking your legs. He just tried to fit too much into 12 lines. Please peep my battle with GaZeebo... -W1 |
uppinuppinuppinuppinuppinuppin
uppinuppinuppinuppinuppinuppin uppinuppinuppinuppinuppinuppin uppinuppinuppinuppinuppinuppin |
Uppin for votes (1).................
Get this over with.....congrats White |
uppin.....uppin.....uppin.....
uppin.....uppin.....uppin..... uppin.....uppin.....uppin..... uppin.....uppin.....uppin.....uppin..... |
Whitelightning took this pretty easy. I was able to see WLs verse in my head, and imagry is always a good sign in topical battles. LMs verse was average, probably woulda have beaten some people, but no in this topical. LM didn't seem to have enough emotion and his lines were boring. WL I liked the short lines and the flow it created. Also had good vocab in your rhyme. Vote-Whitelightning
PLease take the time to drop an honest vote here. Please explain it well too. I took the time for you. Thanks guys. http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112157 |
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:10 AM. |