My first one..dont forget to comment
 

Sup guyz, my first rap here..short..but..

now its da right time you face da ultimate elite,
so get ur candy ass ready for a sticky white treat,

whenever u'll rap me u'l feel da trepidition,
surrender now kid or escalate da situation,
you 13 y/0 still try'n hard for masturbation?
it happens dude, ppl go thru humiliation,

I'll extend it later...what do you guys think?

I'm a complete n00b from other side of the world.... :-/

well first of all its tooo short
vocabs not bad
need to structure it in bars
more multis n internals shud do it
but is aight keep tryin n extend it

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.

But this needs some work....like SWIFT said you should try to make your drops a little longer so we can give you better feedback on it....your structure was alright, it could be touched up some though....your vocab was good....but just keep at it.

cheers thanks, I'll work on it

Good for a newbie. The flow was good. Elevation was right on. Add more to this verse and add two more. Thrwo in a chorus. You will have a song

i liked liked it for your first one, i would really have to see the longer one to give you an up honest oppinion, but keep workin on it

You posted back without links, this is Closed...Get links next time.