The Sleep & The Dream
 

The sleep

Sleeping in my bed with my eyes closed nuttin but black sights
I turned to sleep with no sense of is my heart is still beating. right?
Sleeping is like your dead, you don’t feel no sense of your life
don’t know if your going to wake up in the morning seeing the sunlight
why I’m writing this? But I gots to say what’s on my mind, and express it
Telling yall my feelings about this, life human cycle, which I don’t get
The point is I cant sleep at night, scared to close my eyes seeing the color black
I don’t know if an robber sweep through my house and put an bullet in my back
Now I’ve release my thoughts, about why I don’t like to go to sleep
One thing I like to do when I’m sleep, that special thing is to dream




My dream

It was so beautiful, it hardly rains here, grass is so deep green roses are blooming
Mocking birds are sipping sweet nectar, I can feel the wind touching me it feels soothing
Monkeys are swinging on vines whips from tree to tree, hearing there noisy strange screech
I laugh, with an big smile on my face (ha ha) the grass I can feel the watery moist on my feet
I run with excitement. Like an cloud, all my heavy problems had turned light. I was so free
I told my self. I don’t have lungs but I can still breathe. I don’t have eyes but I can still see
Running to my favorite place, where there’s are lots of fruit’s to eat, and an big waterfall
Flowing down stream. I’d look up in the sky, an big bird with long wings. It was an hawk
Finally I reach my favorite resting destination I sit by the tree took out an pencil and paper
And started drawing. This dream had so much creativity and art. This was my home, the source to take away my faults.

Why Does It Do That.......everytime I Edit It..........it Becomes Like That


Blah

that was a good piece...........

....i liked the dream part more than the first part cause it had better vocab..i liked the whole concept of this poem cause i havent really seen anything like this or on this topic..but yeah u already told me bout ur strucutre and i think that was the only thing that was wrong with this...overall - 9/10

a diff type of style then what im used to, but i like it
good visuialization wif words and shit, good details and it seems like it flows well, good structure like always.

i give you a 8/10 gj
holla atcha boi

chea man, i was feeling that....nice flow, word use, vocab...keep them comming drastic....9/10

I sware I crited this before..but okay..

the poem seemed like one of those old negro spiritual poems lol

thats a good thing..very deep in this..I see you found your style..

If you keep droppin like this..you'll get poem of the month..

even if your dope..I'm still crack :)

nice drop...conveyed visualization and had some good vocab.....i felt both piece's on the real......this was a good topic......i felt it flowed well too......ohh and i hate when the structure decided to be gay like that and go one word over...lmao......8/10
peace~1

ay that was good
i agree with chu to

Wtf Is That Music Coming Out Of Your Sig Mafia....................tight~!

tight drop-good vocab, complex lyrics in places-was jus generally feelin dis- u cud elevate a bit in structure gte me overall - 8.8/10

WHERES DAT 2PAC TRAK COMIN FROM???????????WHAT TRAK IS IT??????HOW THA FUK DID SUM1 DO IT???????

Chea Thats What I Want To Know............anyway........uppin Peace

Very fucking Nice man, deep shyt, Ima nominate ya for Best poet.

Uppin this for drastic....10/10.....NICE SHYT MAN keep it up.

that was alright .....could have been better...didnt really like the fact that you had bad grammer and you constantly used the word sleep and constantly used words mutiple times ....just try to expand your vocab......like dont just use big words and little words.....try to use differnet words

alll in all 7/10

Chea Aiiiiiiight................upppin For More Feeds Chea.................