break-down-my-verse-plz
 

Makin ya eyes black...You are white kid, get that through ur head
Fuck Axioms sig...
...You should be the representative for white Wonder Bread!
i know Axe's sig, but this just didn't connect....also never say "white kid" or something that kind of disses white people in general (or any race) because white people are probably 80% of the voters. If you diss the voters why should they vote for you?
Wait a second, you can check second into a battle...but aren't you timeless
Contradictin ya own names...why don't you just call urslef Mindless
not a punch...definately not hard
In my signature it states that if u PM for votes, then you'll get fucked
So then why do it and say i should have no beef...but aren't you a duck?*
beef and duck have no corillation. This id not hard hitting at all.
This battle like the tortoise vs the hare...either one u r, ur just too slow
Yea ya timeless...
...Cuz you don't realize your winning streak is going to go!
another big nope
But now I wonder why your timeless? suicidal thoughts makin u cry?
Don't worry...
...I'll toss ya out a window so you can discover how time can fly
ha...by far the best line in the verse...the only downer is that I've seen "time fly" lines before
Your record is 5-0, no wonder u gots no cents, so ya mind obsolete
You tryin to diss me like g-unit...but in the end...i'm "Cass-in- Di-Feat" **
horrible attempt at word play

Wasnt feeling this verse. You should work on punches. Read people who are considered ill battlers. If you write a line and it doesnt even make you laugh, you know it will have no effect on the voters. Also be more witty. Dont be so overt with your disses. Be more sudle. Make your opponent look bad, while at the same time making it seem like your not even trying. Anyway, that's my oppinion. Take it if you want.

-W1

Makin ya eyes black...You are white kid, get that through ur head
Fuck Axioms sig...
...You should be the representative for white Wonder Bread!

----you aren't really saying anything this isnt an "OUCH" personal

Wait a second, you can check second into a battle...but aren't you timeless
Contradictin ya own names...why don't you just call urslef Mindless

---not a punch...sorry:(

In my signature it states that if u PM for votes, then you'll get fucked
So then why do it and say i should have no beef...but aren't you a duck?*

----no...this is just...no

This battle like the tortoise vs the hare...either one u r, ur just too slow
Yea ya timeless...
...Cuz you don't realize your winning streak is going to go!

----this was slightly average...wording killed it

But now I wonder why your timeless? suicidal thoughts makin u cry?
Don't worry...
...I'll toss ya out a window so you can discover how time can fly

----this by far was your best punch...why? because it had a concept
it was terrible played though but rest assure this is what punches
should look like

Your record is 5-0, no wonder u gots no cents, so ya mind obsolete
You tryin to diss me like g-unit...but in the end...i'm "Cass-in- Di-Feat" **

------defeat lines are played...punches on records are gay...no concept


all in all if you follow what you said you will eliminate more of the bad ones
and end up with more or less a more consistent verse

Umm.... I'd break your verse down but you should scrap essentially all of it

Lol....
T-west.. you need some elevating
Your punches were just to soft...
It was like... Don Knots boxing

lol fuck! text battling just ain't my thing I guess...when you freestyle, basically everyline ppl sayin "ohhh"

^Real rapping is better anyway, homie...
Text is for people with no lives.........Like me:)

-W1

/\ all you people who didn't provide some help don't post again
as it is considered freeposting. . .serioulsy either help this kid
or battle him