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Untill we break..
a shinning sunny day we lay in this life’s mess
your smiling that’s clear but some how you appear stressed the wind gusts bottles up all lust that’s left inside The clouds hide tha sun n there’s a look in your eye The words clinch then cut like a nine inch blade in time the hate makes the conversation fade ~Hold us up till we break Our relationship is full of-give and take I will try not to talk to you Coz every time I do…we always seem to argue~ Deep blue, bottomless and sheltered by waves Feels like there’s a 100foot ocean before your heart gave Know one would of known if they made it cave in But any damaged Way of behaving are aimed at me and its engraving ~Hold us up till we break Our relationship is full of-give and take I will try not to talk to you Coz every time I do…we always seem to argue~ if its not broken don’t fix it but if it is what can we repair were only kids but now I start to wonder did you ever care? I don’t know the story but you putting are friendship to a test you want the glory of wining the fight and labeled the best? Im not burned or scared but I have learned from my mishaps Never to assign trust to persons if they decline trust you back |
i like this.. i'll come back n drop better crit when i'm not rushed.
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omg that i can relate to.... my ex and i are going thru sonething like that right now....every time we talk we argur...i liked this alot...keep droopin...
MMFCL!!!! peace |
wow
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this hits real close to home, i've experieced things similar to this plenty of times before, and something like it is in the midsts for me right now i'm can't apply anything concerning techinal aspects to this piece, it's all about emotion and i dontk now if its true happeneings, but for me it is nice drop keep writin keep elevatin |
This was pretty good, I felt this. Hey Roxy, where are you from in england? Are you from Lakenheath, I will just email you about it. good drop though, out.
OUT -High Class a.k.a Confusion |
The flow to this was.. amazing. Every piece of this flowed beautifully. I love it.
~Hold us up till we break Our relationship is full of-give and take I will try not to talk to you Coz every time I do…we always seem to argue~ ^Nicely written, and I love how you incorporated it TWICE. It just made you feel it so much more after it was engraved into the piece that many times. It just shows that that is the feeling you felt the most by the repetition of it. Im not burned or scared but I have learned from my mishaps Never to assign trust to persons if they decline trust you back ^Very well written once again, with a great message behind them.. Overall this piece flowed well, had great emotion, and was seemingly flawless. Nice piece, keep 'em comin, ma. |
THANK U ALL!!! for the replys much love! :) its about me and one of my best boy mates
high class im in surrey england dirtty south. peace~roX~ |
You made some good points and pointed out the obvious flaws in most relationships today. It's like you know exactly what is damaging your chances at making things work, but voiceing them would cuase even greater harm to the fragile relationship. Many indiviuals are in the same perdicament, torn between speaking up or allowing it be. I liked this drop, but I thought you could have put way more emotion into such a tpeice on this topic. It was a great drop don't get me wrong, but you need to elevate the emotion in this peice. I hope you can find the right plan of action to address the problems you described in your drop. I makes sense if you approach them head on before things get worse or cause some life long tensions where all relationships sufer. Best of wishes
Bounce |
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