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Hell On Earth
From a topical Battle I had a while back.Decided to get some more feed over here.
HELL ON EARTH lookin out my window...unbearably..at that sickening nightmare flames imbursin the streets...the skies red..with an eerie light's glare took a step outside..lookin at the sky..seein strange figures soarin chains and thorns attached to bodies..wit their distinctive roarin cars were flipped upside down..and bodies were layin all around leavin me with a sense of fear...but I had to stay from the redound but somehow..everything happenin to me seemed intimate to me like i stood here before..or it's all been transmitted in dreams it was hell on earth...but wit the opposition unseen..it was odd WHERE were the defenders?..the celestial angels?......WHERE WAS GOD? WHY would he leave us here to die?..WHy would he just abandon us? Didn't he deserve all our trust?..all i see is darkness...no lust... all I believed in..all i put my heart n soul in..left us in affliction cuz the truth raised it's ugly head today..that it was all fiction but then..i saw..a strange...yet familar figure in the distance i knew who it was..lucifer..the devil trying to diminish our existance skin red from head to toe..with no clothes..& appearance in trandition a smile from ear to ear...due to his sense of accomplishing his mission i reached in my jean..a gat unvealed..and emptied bullets from wesson but no avail..he stood there....grinnin with his grimace expression i turned around..ran...but stopped when I saw wat was coming a huge inferno of flame..movin to me..wit no chance of me shunning it was like a tidal wave..stretching towards the heavens..arisingly a tear rolled down my cheeks..as i heard lucifer's laughter behind of me there was nothing left...it was over..armaggedon..i couldn;t save it hell's done taken over the world that I loved..and the world that i hated i shut my eyes..n felt the heat pass through..with the foul scent my life n the world itself...reaching a sadden n bitter denoument |
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uuuuuuuuuppppppppppiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
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weird, looks familiar :thumbup: lol....um yea this piece is iight....vocab is deff. there felt your structure helped create a good flow.....your story line was on topic....not too creative but didnt lack much overall 7.5/10 keep doin ya thing......
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yoo good drop in my opinion..... had a nice flow to it and the vocab was iight.... made me see what was going on :thumbup: 8/10
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thx for the feed....uppin for some more.
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good drop man, emtion and imagery were awesome and the best things i saw, everything else was good too but those really stood out, nice drop, keep it up
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nice drop Nat..could have a lil more vocab but it was ight, and flow was nice, structure was good, and topic was on point through-out...overall nice drop natural..
plz peep 16 pills.. |
I'll RTF later 2night.........
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this joint was ok. you had real good structure and nice flow in there. there was some real nice imagery in there which helped you your picture what you were trynna create.
overall this was a good piece. i give it an 8.5/10 keep doin ya thing. |
thx...I'll RTF on one ya OM's in sig....
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it was good nice flow and structure and good vocab
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Wasnt half bad dog i give it 8/10 nice job keep it up
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feelin the concept forreal, but overall u had real good structure.....vocab.....imagery.....and flow, shit was tight as hell i wish i could do topicals lol
8/10 scream at my shit too |
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