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Horrible Dreams
Horrible Dreams These illusions in my dreams are really full of confusion... Un-Provin delusions of un-amusin images now un-loosened... No time to re-joice, and sleep doesn’t seem to be a choice... Too afraid to hear that voice that seems to never be destroyed... Boredemness I avoid, but no matter what i’d loose and fall asleep... In my dreams I’d fall too deep, I cant escape cuz im all too weak... A never ending whisper, screams with children slowly crawling close.... Blood exposed, sliding out her eyes and nose with no surviving hope... My legs restricted, not even my small fingers are able to be lifted.. My eyes not allowed to be shut, My life, not allowed to just live it.... I’d think at times the only way for it to disapear is to do suicide... But every night its crystal clear that there’s no use to undo my life.. So i’ll just have to live with the sufferin and the horrible dreams... N have people think I lived a happy life, wen that ain’t wut it seems... http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2059202 |
feelin this...deep shit fam...everything flowed well together, stayed on topic, and I was really feeling the last line...shit was nice...good topical...the only thing that would've made it better is if you made it a little longer...but, shit was incredible dawg...8.5/10
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thanx uppin for more feed back
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really dope piece... everything flowed well good multies good vocab, the wordplay was on point structure was also good, like i've said a million times i.mind is one of the dopest and is coming out with this new style ready for battle... definately a good piece keep em coming
9.5/10 check out my open mic Conscious Thoughts .. leave some feedback |
haha, wow, 9.5 out of 10? wow thanx man, first time i've ever got dat :)
alrite..imma go check dat out:) |
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lol damn..why didn't i get voted best open mic?? :( lol j/p |
up up up and awaaaaaaaaaaaay :)
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i hate this..now i know how ice pick feels, no one ever read open mics..this could officially be my last open mic lol
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This was dope, very creative, and the transition from line to line was great, nice use of wrdplay and vocab to up the power of this peice.. This is the first peice of your i peeped and it is dope as fuck, i will not sleep no longer on your work........
These illusions in my dreams are really full of confusion... Un-Provin delusions of un-amusin images now un-loosened... Great wrdplay and nice use of meta's and good imagery I’d think at times the only way for it to disapear is to do suicide... But every night its crystal clear that there’s no use to undo my life.. So i’ll just have to live with the sufferin and the horrible dreams... N have people think I lived a happy life, wen that ain’t wut it seems... Loved the ending, very nice and very deep. I would rate this a 9 out of 10 and this is one of the best open mics i read this month..... |
Word i gotta admit this shit is nice very well thought out pz u stayed consistant with the topic and made it scary for me to sleep at night now :(
lol but nah .. im feelin this real dope imagery was great the Rhyme scheme was excellent.. im glad you stayed on topic and kept a good rhyme scheme. |
hahahaha, wow, thanx..best of the month??lol, wow!! i bearly tried on dis verse... i only wrote it cuz i was bored lol
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10/10.it was deep.
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cos he give me a 10/10.... :thumbup: anyway this was a real nice piece dawg it was real deep an gave me a good image in my head, flow was tight n wordplay was gud to....i liked this... keep droppin dawg......*moment of truth*... .....9.2/10 gud shit... can you plz hit my open mic in my sig dawg.....called confession...thanx |
uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin
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uppppin uppppin uppppin uppppin uppppin uppppin uppppin uppppin uppppin uppppin uppppin uppppin
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