Sinner (Copyright $pitacular 2001) DOPE
responded
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...&threadid=89526 http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...&threadid=89289 http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...&threadid=81183 1st Verse Evilness flows through me like poisonous blood my heart pumps pure adrenalin, no love chemically imbalanced by drugs.... slugs connect with foul links, think the worst & be the first to make it happen, laughin through the chaos check the unemployment lines, this's rap layoffs brought on... by collective live electric nuerons far beyond what you're on perfect formulated lines, crime related rhymes take what's yours & make it mine while I define my lifetime through vocal pictures from gifted scriptures, designed to hit ya where it hurts keep your verse to yourself, you only make my ego worse... we all die, but you're goin first spit flows with explosive words, verbs & syllables paragraph criminal, & criminal in real life and I'm still like that so go ahead and hit me up cuz I'ma strike right back chorus I'm on my way to hell cuz I'ma SINNER but my shit's gonna sell cuz I'ma SINNER Pack the clip full of shells I'ma SINNER one way tick-et to hell 2nd Verse I'm hearin voices in my head & I don't recognize 'em in my eyez I'm seein death... left with no option but action reaction of survival adaption make $pit number one so the rest remain fractions inventive, manic aggressive blessed & impressive aww your little style's so cute, lemme molest it don't test it, you just better hope I get arrested I'm restless, chokin out emcees until they're breathless ambitious & verbally vicious servin these bitches each word is efficient, envision perfect precision I'm livin every word I spit and if you don't believe me come & test me on it bitch sinner for life until I die & burn in hell cuz I'ma do whatever it takes to make it sell God forgive me, it's just the devil in me Chorus I'm on my way to hell cuz I'ma SINNER but my shit's gonna sell cuz I'ma SINNER pack the clip full of shells I'ma SINNER one way tick-et to hell COPYWRITE 2001 $pitacular |
Pretty good man. Flow was good, not great, can be worked on a bit. Had some multi's, vocab was present, shit was right cuz.
Strengths-- It's obvious you got a bit of a vocabulary, so utilize it. You almost over did it in this piece tho.. seemed like some words were jus put in there as what I like to call "Show-Off Fillers". Flow was good man, jus tweak it a lil, fix it up. Multi's were your obvious strength in this one. Negatives-- Structure wasn't all that great cuz, work on evening your lines and your flow might turn out to be great. Neva kno till you try eh? Hook was bad, didn't like it, needs reconstructin, na'mean? Best Line (s): chemically imbalanced by drugs.... slugs connect with foul links, think the worst & be the first to make it happen, laughin through the chaos check the unemployment lines, this's rap layoffs brought on... by collective live electric nuerons far beyond what you're on ^^ Dope string of lines there, with multi's galore, good shit. Keep droppin cuz, you'll keep elevatin' -Formula. **Peep my open mic when I get it dropped, jus be on the look out for it aiight? Appreciate it.** |
Blah nothing great. .
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No offense, but you have a lot of elevating to do
That sounded like something by the insane clown posse A lot of it didnt rhyme and using the same word over and over doesnt equal dopeness Decent flo though keep droppin |
i thought it was decent 7/10--i would have to hear it to judge your delivery- it seemed a little off, but you never can really tell--untill you hear it
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thanks, the delivery does make a big difference in this one... I know the structure looks bad, but when i flow it, it comes out right. Thanks for the feedback all of you
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You need guidance 7/10 but get help! you need to know that you ain't the best. battle somebody you think is weak...
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what?! who is 7/10?
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