Check this flow out..
 

Is it destruction?
on what i flow from that top of my mind... as Im maken my newest creation?/
i look at all the hataz that talk behind my back with descrimination n' Perpatration/ know'n that they have no destination/
why is it that we alwayz have to hustle through life with frustration/
I look at what has been done to our nation/
how can i avoid getting caught up in this situation?/
do i just let go of everything and start a world violation?/
my thoughts race through my mind like i had to let someone know about all this information/
i think it all over..
does the game only consist of domination?/
must i step up and grab tha tech that lays be side me and cause elimination n' radiation to those who have no need for a negotiation for what they've done/
I now advise people that what i've spit is the truth and not a joke of fun/
this is a real type of matter.. so should we keep our heads up and keep rollin?.. or just turn another way.. and run?..


this wuz juss off tha top of my head.. lemme know what yall think..

~1

........
 

rhyme scheme not consistant so most likly this was choppy the lines were striagjt work on your content and rhyme scheme iight ~1~

what i really like about it
was that it was orignal not
all thuged out

it was abit off in some
spots but it rhymed
for the most part pretty well

p.s.peep my battle vs. M-Body

no dickridin'

aight i got ya
 

aye aight i got ya..but yo thanx fo the tips and what not aight..

~1

THISS PEACE WAS BEAST I LIKED IT CHOPPY FLOWS SEAM THAT WAY WHEN YOUR NOT SPITTING THEM

yo i liked this ish.... u'z a true emcee dawg, this piece is heavy, speakin real... yo keep it up G, that a true knack for rap talent.... pz

i wasn't reALLY DIGGIN THE FLOW, BUT HEY TIS COO.

NO BEEF

aight.. tru yeh i think this piece hitten too.. yo its coo if peeps aint feel'n it.. all good.. but thanx for feed back..

~1

Mad Ill dogg forreal yo i was feelin it yo you were spittin real shit yo so hoffa back at me you kno who i bez lol

Not Bad, Not Brilliant...

I Thought tha overall rhyme shceme couldve been tightned up a notch or 2...

Imagery as pretty good throughout though...and vocab was used here n there...

Started off with too many Tion rhyming words...they are growing so old..they just aint fun to read/listen too...

Try and keep your mind focused on concept all tha way thru your pieces, dont let tha mind wander, keep tha path wide, but apparent...ya know...

All in all, not bad, but couldnt used some more work...

Keep on postin & elevating yopur mentals..

Take care...

Peace n god bless.

aight coo
 

aye thanx for the feed back dawg..ima be elevaten on my flows..freal though aight

~1

Aint a bad effort, the ideas that were being thrown out were well thought of and ya conceptual ideas were shown... I think ya jus need to explain yourself, and try to show more creation within your rhymes... The rhyme scheme was hella simple, lacced multies and internal rhymes and that woulda smoothened your flow a lot... Mos of the rhyme was a "TION" rhyme aswell, and that showed its simplicity, aint a bad thing to use, but how many can you think of... Vocab was well delivered, more wordplay and deeper metaphors coulda showed more skill and potential, and it woulda put more depth in your writing, it was aight, keep spitting and elevating...

Peez...