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-   -   Withering Hope (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=221742)

-Substance- 02-09-06 11:11 PM

Withering Hope
 
Dispursed Into Splinters Into A Hurse Durin Winter
Burst, Decayin For I Splurt The Words Of A Sinner
My Presence Sentenced To Exile And Venture A Path
Measure What I Treasure, I Head For Pressure And Wrath
Deed's Only Managed To Get Me Vanished And Chained
Judged In A Criminal's Sactum, I'm Averagin Pain
My Mind Peels As My Toughts Sprout At A Higher Rate
I'm Lookin For A Guidin Hand Like A Being At A Minor Age
Seachin In Every Buildin So I Don't Get Killed In This Journey
I Dropped My Shallow Mind Into Hell Consequently, Too Early
That It Is Surely, Or Am I Not Worthy Of A Spot In Heaven
Sit In A Golden Chizzled Chair Next To My Church's Reverand
For I Fail To Seize What Impaled My Seed To Shear Evil
Dragged To The Depths Of The Crater To Fear That Mear Lethal
And Torturing Demon, Am I Dreamin Or Is This A Simple Illusion
Souls Clashin, Road Crashin Into A Barren Wasteland Of Internal Brusing

Under The Casted Shadows Given From My Sins
I Depart To Another Dimension Were I Come To Begin
A New Chapter In Life, A New Written Story About Me
So I'm Waitin For A Guiding Hand To Route Me

Soul Scattered So I'm Unable To Find This Puzzle's Meaning
I Hustle, Scheaming For A Crack In This Struggle, Screaming
For I Open The Double Doors And Dust Particles Fill The Entrance
Creekin Sound Pounding My Ears, I Can Sense The Devil's Presence
Tremble As His Essence Is Ingulgin The Room With A Vast Impact
Bones Crack, Throat Snaps, Hands Wither As My Wrist's Crack
While My Souls Being Devoured By The Mear Stare In His Vision
Traveled Through My After Life To Discover My Secret Mission
I Fed Ambitions And Nurtured Theft, But Hoped To Earn Respect
To Realize I Ain't Worth A Spek Til I Visualize, I'm Burned And Wrecked
But Threw The Prayers I Chanted, Fool...Took My Savior For Granted
So I'm Senteced To Judgement, But Came To This Crater And Paniced
So I'm Peeled Cell, By Cell, While I'm Rubbed Into Particles
For My Spark Becomes Another Failure In The Newspapers' Articles
So While I Gasp For Air And Shed A Final Tear Of Painful Recognition
I Looked At The World And Hope They Realized What The Core Was Missin


http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2650759

-Substance- 02-10-06 12:05 AM

seven views and no feedback? damn! don't sleep on this, promise you'll like it

craZed 02-10-06 12:45 AM

fyre yo... u know i luv ya style so keep it flowin

-Substance- 02-10-06 01:26 AM

thanks for the feedback homie.........uppin for more

-Substance- 02-10-06 01:49 PM

c'mon, don't sleep on this...it's definately worth reading

J.D 02-10-06 04:22 PM

this is a pretty tite piece yo. im feelin ya imagery you used and you had some nice multis in there aswell. the flow of it was decent aswell. nice job

knaledg1 02-10-06 04:31 PM

Good shit like tha multi's

-Substance- 02-10-06 04:47 PM

thanks for the feedback homies................

B To The D 02-10-06 04:51 PM

Thats nice,feeling the emotion in it,it makes you think,the imagery was great it made you feel inticed by it wantin to read more

good ish!

-Substance- 02-10-06 05:01 PM

thanks fam..............always nice to hear some good feedback....

-Substance- 02-10-06 10:21 PM

uppin this for some more feedback homies!!

Wicked One 02-10-06 11:11 PM

Nice drop had a good flow to it, & also the imagery was good too...overall-8/10...keep up the good work fam. 1

-Substance- 02-10-06 11:27 PM

no problem man..........thanks for the feedback..............

snipes 02-11-06 10:27 AM

dat was nice piece and a good vocabulary
very fictional and it leads to da imagination
where as i can picture in a head

overall hot shit
9.10

-Substance- 02-11-06 10:36 AM

thanks fam..........appreciate the feedback homie.................


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