Round 2 DaGyrlRemarqabL vs The Necromancer
 

Alright--same rules 10 min 20 max---

Due.. Wed.......
Topic.....No one ever asks the "Sky" its opinion of whats below....

Wow im digging this topic so make it great seriously...

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this should be interesting.....good luck to the both of you

deadlines changed to sat.

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damn D...now thats a fuckin solid topic....im feelin this...

*excited* im really anxious of what are they gonna come up with this one...

cant wait!

damn D...now thats a fuckin solid topic....im feelin this...

*excited* im really anxious of what are they gonna come up with this one...

cant wait!


from shiznit's mouth......GOOD LUCK WITH Y"ALL!

*confused*

eh..due Saturday the..15th?? I hope so.
Oh Noo0o Necro0o0o. I love that guy. I dont wanna go up against him. Oh well, good luck buddy.

Well this is a bit of a bastard of a thing, aint it?!

I was hoping this would be the final, or at least the semi finals...

Oh well, good luck to both of ya...

In case anyone can't read, there are only two names in the topic and none y'all are those names. Anyway, good luck Gyrl. Not that you need it, you rock and I suck, so we all know who's gonna win.


The red skinned man draws in the circle of Earth Medicine/
The pale skinned woman calls upon the gaurdians of four directions/
The Semite makes the Corinthian sacrifice to open the connections/
And I... focus on the meditation of the permiating magic/

The red skinned man bows to the sky and calls it in his native tongue/
The pale skinned woman is skyclad herself dancing in circles/
The Semite burns the incense and the mur for the atmosphere effect/
And I... focus on the meditation of the permiating magic/

The red skinned man makes a prayer that sounds like song/
The pale skinned woman makes a prayer to her goddess/
The Semite is put back to the days of his ancestors/
And I... finally can ask the sky... "So, what's up?"/

The magic opens to various pagan prayers/
All so that I might speak with the sky itself/
On what it thinks and what it believes/
On all it's thoughts on us below/

It tells the red skinned man that he will die through great injustice/
It tells the pale skinned woman to always hide within the shadows/
It tells the Semite that persecution will become an everyday thing/
And the sky tells me to be carefule of the path I choose/

~Shalom~

uh oh this competition is gonna be a tough one...can't wait for ol GyRl to spyt...

Necro yo shyt was too tyte..im feelin it- - -its coo how your imagination of a topic like the "sky" made you create a masterpiece of a poem...uppn fashow kid

^Yes..Definately a nice verse Necro.

No one ever asks the sky its opinion of whats below..

^^Wrote a song about it. Wanna hear it? Here it go!

"Just a Cloud"

With strong gusts, I glide by..depths of gravity I defy,
Simply drift and doze off to the wind's lullaby..
Often times I'll supply, drops of rain for spots dry,
My life's dreamy, look, see-me? Im up in the sky..
Yes, floating so high, it's a feeling of great-bliss,
Yet, like my misty being, my opinion is weight-less...
I see a lot from up here, Some things bright as the sun's rays,
But some turn me gray, For i've not enough rain to wash them away....

I've seen tears of pain, but eventually a smile,
From a woman looking down on her newly birthed child.
Now more wild, Ive seen a man who humps her, then dumps her,
And 9 months later, their baby's thrown into the dumpster.

I've seen love in the eyes of two walking down the aisle,
and heard vows saying forever isn't such a long while.
I've heard promises of love from two standing at the alter,
A husband 'engaged' in violence, for he beats and assaults her.

I've seen little boys laughing with their fathers by a pond,
one strong bond, sure to grow more-so up and beyond.
I've seen a little girl playing, not one pain to deter her,
I've seen that same little girl kidnapped and then murdered.

Poor mothers with their babies, desperately trying to provide,
scraping to get by, yet hugs and kisses are always in constant supply..
A rich man, pockets filled to their rims and above,
HIS kids are not hungry, they're just starving for love.

In my case, what I've seen from being high in this place,
Is that for every one blessing, theres twice a disgrace.
and it can't be erased, or drowned out by our thunder,
it will loom, and resume, so doomed that I wonder..
Is God trying to cover it all when he makes me snow?
I'd tell him my thoughts, but I think he'd rather not know.
Id ask him if he knows about these harsh things endowed
he'd laugh loud, and say proud, "Hey..You're just a cloud."

© 2003 DaGyrlRemarqabL

(^heh. Sorry, Im paranoid now.)

Told you I suck. I'm going to go into the corner and cry... wait.. on second thought, I'm going to run naked through main street and climb up a tree and howl like a monkey.

Peace.

*runs after necro*

judging tonight good luck.

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damn damn damn...this is a toughy.....BOTH came hard pretty strong


necro's piece was deep as shit....the structure of the piece fits it perfectly

gyrl....damn u awed me on that one....the based on reality concept came out pretty damn amazing


I LIKE them both...wonder how deacon is gonna do with these....im glad i aint him cuz if i was gonna judge this...i would go insane...hahahahha


good job guys!

Wow great verses to both of you///////

The Necromancer:
It's great to see the differences between cultural beliefs and in the matter that you conferred it was very avant-garde. This piece not only is filled with spiritual sentiment but also historical intelligence. The visual effect and the process of interaction between self and a higher being.i enjoyed reading this piece and felt it had all the elements to a good written full of imagery, emotion, realism, im going to give this piece an 8.4 very nicely executed.

DaGyrlRemarqabL:
Yet again another nice piece, i think these are only getting better as this tourny moves on. DA you put together a strong piece here from the begining to the end. You always seem to stay true with structure giving each line something new to ruminate over. Great imagery through out the whole piece you describe the ups and downs of modern day trivia perfectly and truly. I i lost a bit of emotion though on a particular line:

"Now more wild, Ive seen a man who humps her, then dumps her,
And 9 months later, their baby's thrown into the dumpster"

Although there is truth in this and it has happened i feel it could have been presented with a better choice of words/rhyme. it was really the only part that through me off. The ending was good i acknowledged your feelings of the matter but i said the sky not a cloud ."YOU LOSE"
joking joking and joking

Im giving this piece an 8.5 i felt it was overall a strong piece and DaGyrlRemarqabL deserves a spot in the next round.

final:DaGyrlRemarqabL wins but this was not an easy task for me both had their strengths but a draw would not sufice.

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