Just Peep this
 

Everybody's in hurry to try to dis me first
I just sit back and try to prepare the worst
i'm not trying to make people hurt or burst
but don't conceal me
i'm better of dead in a hearst
i ain't even try na to get no record deal
i'm just gettin shit off, so ya know how i feel
keep droppin rhymes, and try to respect myself
if you don't like my shit, then ya can go fuck yourself
i'm livin fearless
but if you go ahead and check my shelf
you may fnd something i use to protect myself
a vest, a gun to shoot with one damn shell
and shoot you faster then it gets to hell
i don't even got to diss you no more, i don't got too
i got all my friends that'll truthfully stomp you
and i done seen alot of people cross the line
but this mother fuckin girl must ta lost her mind



i tried to use the Bump Heads beat, but it kinda went to hell after a bit but whatever,
uppin

uppin
for replies

its well alrite, honestly you need elavation, but aint thats what we all seek. fave lines from dat:

yeh thanks
i know i need elevatin
i'm tryin
uppin

yeah, I appreciate the effort man, I can see potential in the lines but it seemed to me that you ain't using your ideas our to their fullest.

I'd say throw in some more 3 sylable words or some more complexity to it cuz it's kinda simple.. alliterations and maybe a multie or 2 would help ya flow too..

but not bad stuff... my fav line cuz of the flow would be

"i don't even got to diss you no more, i don't got too
i got all my friends that'll truthfully stomp you"

again it could have been expressed better like not repeating in the first line, but I liked the flow.

keep elevating dawg,

-Ie

uppin

this was aiigh every already gave you advice so im not gunna say nun but it was a iight peice u got potential juz keep workin an it will come peace dawg good effort too 1