I'll never walk again?
 

The Doctor:
Sorry,..your son Stanely will never walk again..



Stanely:
One day I'm a football star, an the next I wake up a paraplegic
it ain't fair - I'm pleadin,..give me my legs back! stop starin I'm bleedin!
fuck bein at bedrest, I can take care of myself I sure as hell dont' need you
girls use to check me out..now apparently I'm see through
fuck you nurses "Sir, do you need assistance, we'll feed you"..
na..I can do it myself, write that down on your report or thesis
I'm bored an see this as an insult, I wanna move forward n leave this
behind, in my mind I'm the same but physically a changed guy
"you look great stan"..dont' feed me those blatant lies
I may mask it with a fake smile but I'm screamin behind these aching eyes
all the pain I hide, while inside I'm dying but I'll let fate decide..
n I'll wait outside but I'd have to roll my way there like a pussy,
I swear I'll kill the next person that offers to push me, there all looking
a million eyes on me..while I'm longing to be cast out of this earth it's
too small for me, I'm a notch on the surface - why do I deserve this?
an I'm not sure but my worth is dwindled down to worthless,
in a crowd I'm nervous..with this self doubt its perfect
I feel like an inadeqaute vehicle, without a engine or battery
all these fools act nicely, pretending I beleive there genuine flattery
"you look like your doing much better today"
What?..Bitch I'm still in a wheel chair same as the day before
like a mobile saboteur, an I'm not recovering jus growing my hate well
beating myself to sleep raising welts, like I fathered them..
on a daily basis I'm bothered man! my self prides been slaughtered and..
I'm like a shadow of what I use to be, an echo of a soothing plea
my friends act shocked, "dude your in a wheelchair?"
thanks for coming..an relaying that news to me, amused atleast
dreadin to go back to the school where my dad used to teach
hopefully they'll understand an be caring, an pardon that
I'm in a wheelchair..I roll into my old school..


"an they all start to laugh"..



I'll have links up some time tomorrow.

pretty decent piece....at times...the rhyme scheme was good...at other times..it was pretty choppy...but i liked the story...pretty powerful on more then 1 level...fairly well written...i'm not going to list examples unless you are interested(if you are them pm me) but theres a lot of lines..that could be quotables...had you of worded them...not better...but..different....i don't see a lot of OM's from you...actually i think this is the 2nd or 3rd i've read...but you are definately coming into your own as a writer when it comes to om's...keep workin at it man...and let me know when you drop next.

Appreciate the feed man, I'll let ya know when I drop next.

Yeah i agree with In-Vision, it was choppy at times but some lines were deep man. But overall i reckon its pretty good. ill look out for your next peice

yo shit was good, but some spots you forced the rhymes... so it would end up as an uneven rhyme like in-vision said, it was an interesting topic and some of the lines i was like...damn that was good. you had some good creativity or descriptive lines which made me see yourself talking or doing a certain action. i liked it and over all i give you 8.5-10.
keep dropping, you def. got skill and talent.