Gimmie some honest feed..
 

I cant decide how good or bad i am at freestylin so i need some feedback.. heres something i wrote up.. get at me about words.. structure.. flow.. whatever u got to tell.


i live an under-averaged life,a rich kid in a broke family..
holding up a savaged knife
just to come at the night..
a perfect planner but cant even speak his language right
i fight with tense-flight, and hence-might be untouchable
some fuckable, purchasin his own lunchables
its such a role.. to be-- the illest ranked rated,
i spanked Satan and played him, i payed him and just put 8 in i hate him but nearly made him
now hes up afraid and betrayed cuz he heard these lyrics and stayed away from the savior.
On rapverse he battled jesus.. his back hurts and his dick freezes
believe this, he lifts his horns and trys to pass on what he pleases,
diseases! from solid peaches.. the pit! turns into leaches
and beaches.. overflow in the sand till it out reaches...

Okay playa. the freestyle was good, but to be honest, try not to use to many words to close together. Other than that, i captured most of wut you was tryin to say. You seem like you really can rap and the text might take a little bit of that away over the computer. Homey keep it going, the shit was fire.

Thanks a lot.. ill keep your thoughts in mind