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Harold the Great vs. a k w o r d Z
...Topic: ....Life of the Homeless... ...20 lines max... ...check in due Wednesday... ...Verse due Saturday... ...2 Votes due on Monday... ...Have fun good luck |
check check check
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checkkkkkkkkkkk
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Life of the homeless, nice but its lonely...i dont even know me
every smile shown is bogus,hopefull tryin my hardest not'a show'em a broken spirit torn from growin up so quickly, life isn't fit for me... tryin to keep a light heart while everything just floats away a nomad of modern day, transiant on public trasit, gettin meals fed outta trash cans still trying to go away,oh lucky me,just another broke-bro- broken spirit tryna get out in one peice, no company ta comfort me, yall would come to defeat walkin with one 'a my feet ... can barely hobble on your own two while i'm jus... walkin on beat with my own drum, my own tune, dont be fooled, you'll think i'm dumb till i get to know you....uh huh,ignorin the whole ignorance is bliss thing, till they give me a degree for the mistakes i've learned from, but still get to me... not knowing how to react, countless pre-formed preformers got one hand in my pocket, and brought a knife for my back... i guess life is like that... cant disagree with the facts when they're as plain to see as your hand... its hard to move forward when you stay gazing at the past ... blah |
this aint a direct link...but it can be part of life of a homeless
he wasn't born a loser & use ta believe in hope.. until he became an abuser in need of dope.. his dreams have flown since he had to leave his home.. now he roams the streets alone.. bones shown through his skin.. a stranger in the mirror, confused view of him.. the image gets no clearer.. there's no excuse for him.. he swims in the juices of sin & stays wet with guilt.. pores filled with sweat & disease.. he bleeds regret when its spilt.. he's slept in filth.. along with the roaches & rats.. stays close to his bat when other homeless approach him to chat.. his clothes are crap.. & hold an atrocious odor to match.. knows he's not suppose to look back.. but does with sorrow.. cause yesterday was a better way & today is tomorrow.. his time is borrowed.. since his nose inhaled those lines of coke.. & prevailed over his state of mind.. until he relied on smoke.. as he cries, he chokes.. back the tears, he's done crack for years.. his voice of reason is speaking.. but the poison distracts his ears.. all he hears are his fears toying beneath the mixture.. of drugs, starvation & a concoction of liquor.. nothing stops him, he's sicker.. in desperate need of a fix ta.. feed his habit, damn it.. he's fiening for his alixor.. just then, he looks up & see's his picture.. stapled to a pole.. had to look twice.. since he was now twice as old.. 12 years ago, he took his life on the road.. said he had to go.. he left in hurry with his mother left to worry.. as he scurried.. he knew she would miss him.. but he wouldn't listen.. he was just too stubborn & persistant.. i wish i would have done things different.. like convinced him.. he shouldn't go.. but i didn't though, i let him slip away.. & since that day.. i've been nothing but a slave.. to the toxin in my viens.. |
well both came i guess weak...ok battle......
Poppa-ehhh good verse....but you dsidnt have alot of story...seemed rushed...not alot of imagery from the beginning but the ending was improving... akwordz-you had no story/ backround or empathatical/chronological order.......your verse seemed as if it was missin somethin......It was good how you described some aspects of the life but fix your structure your current one is too hard to read... Ill poll later blah! v/ Poppa |
harold gets my vote because.............
akwordz: i didnt like the flow and structure on this and it was hard to flow with and the story line was typical. i think u should have been more creative with it but i was feelin emotion out of it which is good but just elevate on complexity and storyline creativity. harold: u had a good flow and structure and the vocab was decent.u werent that creative and came typical with the story line but u talked about drugs and liquor which added a spice to it.i felt the emotion in it as well.... both keep elevaten but theres my vote vote/harold |
my vote goes to a k w o r d z cuz he posted the limit........
harold posted 30 lines on a 20 line max......so he should be auto dq'd sorry to say but i noticed it.... :thumbup: Line limit was discarded....It was orginaly 30-50 but I mind put 20 lines on accident... |
sorry about the mishap then........my bad ppl.........but a quick ?.......so there isnt a limit on all 1st round battles?? :huh: :thumbup:
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umm... why did i rush this verse if the deadline doesn't apply?
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well of m vote cant go to ^^ for line limit reasons its gona have to go to ^^ for time limit reasons cuz harold posted today=sunday and it was due yesterday=saturday........
so ^^ has a point...... v/a w k w o r d s Well....there was 6 no shows....so I mind made it till sunday.....or else this toruney would be un-even.... |
well i dropped but what was said was ok by the fuckin moderator of this fuckin tournament.
this tourny is wack my piece was wack due to the wack played topic its wack that chase said it was kool fuk it DQ me & let this kid win. |
u shure son........ya sound drunkardness :)
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im dam sure.........
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fuck harold hes just a beefing bitch, you came wack plain n simple stop makin excuses....damn
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