quick lines.....off the top...
 

quick lines.....off the top.....~1~


lyrically i can be stranged... untamed with the dark flames/
i start to bring pain... to victims who think they hard emces in the game/
my outstanding talent is blessed with the gift... so im far to be lame/
my heart is as cold as arctic oceans with sharp ice rain/
my minds chaotic and insane full of obseen thinking/
obseen enough to have u shivering quickly... keeping your eye lids from blinking/
have u nervous and shaking... like being followed by a murderer on the loose/
ill style so fowl break u down... like bacteria decomposition... its the truth/
im severe and serious... when frequently bring fire to fearsome foes/
so its a delite that i destroy these devils... thinking there fury will bring blows/
tangle with vets u better where the vest if its your life i threat/
it could be your last day on the set... as i stretch your neck... till u life less/
battling on the fields of battle... like crusade warriors against muslim fiends/
u wont win this round nor take my territory... for glory against me u see/
freeing my mind constently when writing these verbally made creations/
in a tight situation i have patience.... while others panic in fustration/


my links-

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=242805
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=242790

eh im lookin for some feedback....i know its not my best cause i did it off the top quick but i still would like some feed....i give feedback to yall ...please give some to me lol...i wanna know where i can improve....~1~

i think it was good for off the top keep up the work...
give me feedback on mine


you do somethin to me -wiley d

thanks for the feedback .....~1~

I Liked This...The Wordplay Was iight, The Structue Was Kinda Iffy At Times...But Besides That It Was Cool...100

I like that it was tight for jus bein off the top flow was nice maybe a lil choppy!

This is decent for jus off the top i liked it then it flowed well!

it was ok...for being off the top