whyte ave vs kein witz
 

read rules link is here new rules added
GODS WRATH

checkin in,.,lkl;m

Hey, I'm magical.

I started in Iambic Pentameter then started just saying 'fuck it' for a few lines...so, yeah.

A star's glow reflected, the twinkle in the eyes of his greed,
shattered lust, through the dust, of the age Made of Need.
The angels swift, wild call, a white ball descends.... humble.
Nothing but the sure strut...a bright, vivid canopy of jungles.
A rumble.... caused trees to fumble their dying, sad children.
Solace sought, all thoughts were then lost in the wild winds.
Plump clouds of precipitation, ready to wash all cruel nations,
Collections a mystery, to fulfill a legend, history in the making.
Tears of the Kingdom, watching from the large, broad firmament,
for the perfect race created, just self-destruction by the turn of it.
The water stripping, and the ripping sea, the tides laced with bark.
The stars wink.... the light casts glows over the wood of the ark.

ok both did good here but K piece was more like a topical than poetry it rhymed and thats good but try to make it more like poetry next time the basics of ur verse was nice and good vocab and everythin was good i just felt that it sounded more like a topical verse rather than a poetry piece, WA his piece was good it was short and had the basics of a poetry piece it had visual words and kept it simple but still a good and difficult piece to outshine it so both did good and keep on doin it but my
v// goes to White Ave.

...Oh my god, for the last damn time. Let's take The Raven for example. No one calls that a topical, it's a poem. How about any poem that describes an event? Does that make it one? Is it because I rhymed it seems like a topical to you or something? ... Whatever.

Aight, lemme break this down

Whyte Ave: I always liked your style because you keep it rather simple with a deep meaning though. But in this case, I thought you could've elaborated a bit more, went more into detail here and there. Imagery was nice, worded in a mysterious, serene yet powerful way combined with a good deal of emotion. Overall solid piece

Kein Witz: I really enjoyed your piece because it reminded me of old Latin poets such as Catullus and others. The sound expressions were an excellent add-on in my opinion, they gave the piece a quick, continous pace that symbolises the wrath of God. Imagery was very strong, I could picture every line in my mind, emotion was good as well but imagery was at a high!

Vote goes to Kein Witz, no hate to Whyte Ave, both wrote a nice piece!

nah homie i was just sayin that it was stretched out and u rhymed and it just seemed like a topical it didnt have to do nothin wit my vote homie ok so just sayin that man u good homie dont worry man ull prolly win anyways man ok man

o.o So you're saying if there are long lines in a poem it's a topical? It wasn't that stretched or anything at all. And a poem doesn't have to have flow or structure, really...but, CONTINUE VOTING. =D

^ Kein i just have to say...nice drop

Thanks, same to you. ^-^

well this is a tied. and heres what i think. WHYTE AVE. your stuff was nice. good emotion, had some nice touches to it. great vocabulary. but this has to go to KEIN WITZ *even tho he n ass*. his imagery was sharp as a razor. his flow was nice. good syllable count. nice emotion bieng portayed to the reader.

V/ KEIN WITZ.