un-wanted child.....
 

from the sight of sun rays to the light off candles on sunday
whoever thought or knew u'll have an un-wanted child someday...
some say think aout sex and use protection
while other wanna fuck around untill they get called for question...
got'em at the precent sweating bullets about ya last fuck
all they wanna know now is your age and did u ever touch...
i thought i told u about messin with these sluts
now face'in jail-time cuz she 15.. and all u thought about was a nut...
un-grateful child never was satifiyed with nintendo games and school
all he wanted to do was smoke.. drink liquer.. and act like a fool ...
what the fuck wrong with you? did you ever think about ya parents
and that what u do might come back to treating us as fitted parents...
look at the mirra... i SAID LOOK AT THE MIRRA.. do you see what i see
a fucking punk pussy who cant stand regular sports and is a pimp wanna bee...
im glad ya ass got cought one way... cuz fucking on church sunday got'em cought by monday
u like a drunk person driving... all ova the rode on the oppasit side of 1 way...
u need a fund-rise cuz forget about bail that shit aint coming outta my pockets
shit i did enough for you... feed u all your life, took u to the doctors and filled up your closet ...
never once did i hear thanks dad or saw a slip in my account with your deposit
just bitching u wanna go outside and not school.. all high talking that fly-shit...
i wish i straped up and never had you... cuz look what u do
i wish i had a chance to send ya ass straight back throu my tubs...
always wanna act rude and grown... i bet ya ass got more to worry about then a home
thats where u could of been.. insted of in jail feeling all alone...
well guess its best any how... i would of kept beating u with the stick if it wasnt for your mother
wanna get in the way of the beating... so i add it her on to u'rs i guess daddy got the family coverd?@!...
but the bleeding with scary even for my eyes.. its like the devil dear me
ya mom stood up for you... till u got pick out like lics on bush thats hairy...
i guess that knife i pushed was heavy and extra sharp
cuz once i made it straight down ya chest it drop out your heart...
i guess im correcting a mistake on god creation
god... i wish i never had this child... i guess i better get use to masterbation....



i tryed to do something new...
and i rushed it...
would like proper feed back ya...

300 J.G we run'in this rap shit...

your keeping it up son. Doing your thing bro.
Nice drop.
Ill get in depth later.

thanks....
upp'in for more feed.....

i was really feeling the first 12-13 lines....after that it seems u were angry and the lines were seeming forced.....you calmed it down towards the end though the last 6-7 lines and it went smooth....good creativity on this....i see you were just tryin to do a topic instead of a keystyle verse ....which is real good cause u wanted to try something new....but remember u dont always have to have a punchline or sound like u tryin to be humorous.....some lines i saw u attempting a punch or were tryin to sound funny....it dont always have to be that way though for a topic written ....i would save the punches and the humor lines for keystyles or battles.....overall nice shit keep doing what u do man.....~1~ 8/10.....