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Drama Queen Vs. ~Babylon~ (MiddleWeight Championship Match)
Rules:
Battles Go Up Friday Check In Due Sunday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time Verses Due Tuesday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time Voting Ends Thursday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time 20 Lines Minimum 40 Lines Maximum No Biting No Recycling Do Not Go Over The Line Limit Or Under The Line Limit Meaning No Less Than 20 Lines No More Than 40 Lines You Must Vote On 3 Battles Per Week And Edit Them Into Your Check-In.. If You Dont Do So, Youre Banned From The Tourney The Following Week Topic : Approaching Heaven's Gates |
Checking in...G'luck!
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check.................................g luck to u too
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oh snap hope this one will be a good one cuz queen is in it. ;)
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Okay, I hate to ask this again but I'd need one day extension...I've already written my verse but it got deleted by accident, it's almost 9 pm right now and I still have loads of stuff to do for school and other shit so I don't feel like no-showing but I won't be able to drop anything decent tonight...(have to think about those timezones a little too you know)...
DQ |
Extension Granted For Both
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Reality
Abandoned by my father,mom couldn't cope on her own
So by the age of fifteen I was forced to already act fully grown Was working hard to protect the only woman in my miserable life Tried to stay on right track but soul got attracted to the knife Slowly went into the wrong direction,the open wounds of rejection By the stranger I share my DNA with because of natural selection Hustling to get food on the table,not thinking bout any decision Dangerous collision of hatred n insecurity created blurred vision But then suddenly the fog started rising as I looked in her eyes The tears she disguised,her heart's been ripped apart by my lies So I gazed within my core to discover what way I saw myself going Started seeking for new thrill which I eventually found in flowing Change
Addicted to the beat,straight spittin bout issues of the street
On hip hop I relied,keeping my head up high even after a defeat Following right path again with this music as a passionate drive No joking around though,had to get my name out there to survive Sending around demos,desperately yearning for this one phone call Or long awaited letter with news that could make me climb or fall Kept reaching for the only definite escape out of this living hell Approachin heaven but little did I know that I had to say farewell To my old lifestyle,to the warm nest my mother worked so hard on New world opened,filled with wealth,our poverty was suddenly gone Heaven/Hell
Never could've imagined that the price to pay was gonna be this high Entire life and being turned upside down,all in the blink of an eye Jealousy and envy destroying the most profound friendship i ever had Funny how life goes,look where I am now due to a pen and writing pad But it's not what I thought it'd be,rap scene's never been so hostile And as I see my momma's fake smile,I wonder if this is all worthwile Because the loads of money don't solve the problems that lie beneath No more respect in the hip hop game but I keep quiet n grit my teeth Maybe I have been naive to believe I was approaching heaven's gates Continue for my mother's sake although I'm caught up in dire straits But heaven is just a foolish illusion created as a reason for dreams That get shattered anyway because nothing is ever what it seems DQ |
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=172100
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=172106 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=172097 I will vote on others if these aren't good...And if there are any questions about my verse, please ask them. It's basically about a boy who had to struggle all his life and suddenly found an escape out of that hell in music which was his heaven. But in the end,it turns out his heaven was overrated...he got blinded along the way and when he finally got there,he realized that his dreams made it more perfect than it was in reality.Gave topic a little twist but I think it's more enjoyable to read than the predictable things... DQ |
"The Fall and Rise to Heavens Gates" slain, body feals pain, aching I neal in vain killed to gain, limbs numb, begin to feal lame concealed my name from the devil that calls out sprawed out, body lifts in air, spirit pull's about I feal cool now, breeze begins over my skin its over then, no flesh apon me, I'm glowin with in no longer can feal my heart, no bones or muscles my thoughts are puzzled, slowly my soul shall rustle again the evil screams, I wish I knew there means shadows of people seen, begin to glow and gleem so as I rise, I shake, shiver and close my eyes and remember bad thoughts and expose my lies a million lost soul's pass me at the speed of light fall sleep despite, darkness as the light creeps to night I wake soon shaken, I ask was my fate mistaken vision appears blurry, a person? whos face am I facing lying on a dark flour, with dark walls, and a dark sky my hearts shy, cant tell the truth's apart from lies whos is this man showing all my faults through life lies bring him closer, push him? the truth just might so i confess my sins, my fear begins to rest with him my chest is clensed, feal safe now, but the rest depends on the choices left, no more screams, but still noises yet I do not fear, cuz my soul feals rested , poised and set The darkness fades, light shines, like sparkiling blades the light starts to say, magical things, my heart is raised I feal a sence of worth, newest feeling since my birth its just in reverse, and no more tense fealings of hurt could this have been a test, to send my sins to rest no longer stuck in this world, that just depends on mess cleansed, respectable, I begin to see a gleaming spectical sounds of dancing and music, an amazing mystic festival now i relize this is death, and now my spirit levetates found gods kingdom, now its clear, this is heavens gates ~Babz~ |
voting
sorry but im going with Babylon. Babylon won because his piece flowed, had structure but the desiding factor in all this he was creative and did more with the same amount of lines. Drama had good lines, structure, n flow. however there wasnt as much content as both were first person but babylon had more and looked at it with more first person. if ya need any more pm the kid...
v/ Babylon |
Bab- The Great Thing About Your Verse Was Flow, And Imaginary. I Didnt Feel Much Emotion Coming From Your Verse. Good Vocab.
Drama- Like Always Emotion Was Good And Decent, Flowed Good. Imaginary Was Tight. The Only Thing That Stood Out In Your Verse Was Emotion. Good On The Vocab I Gots To Give This To Drama, Cause In My Eyes, I Vote Who Has The Most Emotion In There Verse With Much Imaginary And Drama Had Both Category On Lock,wun. |
WOW, what a battle here...incredibly close and Imma feel bad for whoever loses this.
Flow - Babylon Slight edge here to Babylon, just thought his stuff flowed smoother, with alot more internal rhymes. Just the way I read it. Drama flowed nicely too, just didn't have as many multis and such. Emotion - Drama Extremely slight edge to Drama here. Lots of emotion from both on this, but on different levels I think. Drama showed the real struggle of trying to make it big, and wanting to help out mom, but then seeing that money didn't change things hurt real bad. Babylon did the piece perfect with emotion, not knowing where he was was scared, and with the way he wrote the lines the emotion showed. Imagery - [i]Babylon[/b] Again extremely close to call. I was picturing part of Drama's piece but it was a bit shady. Babylon, had me picturing this dark place all the way through, and I was wanting to know who this dark figure was all the way through. vote/ Babylon by the slimmest of margins. |
mmmmmmmm dis one was a hell of a topical but I have to go with my gut.
EMOTION DRAMA OPENER-CLOSURE BOTH HAD IT VERBAL DRAMA IMAGRY DRAMA OVERALL drama gets this one you had some good stuff but I saw and felt drama more on this one homes. good topical |
^^^^could u elaberate more on that please...................
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FLOW baba
imagry was drama emotion i felt drama more on this one but you baba had some good things but I think ur vocab was just to overplayed homes no hate tho just keep workin on it I just think drama got you on her emotion and had me as if I was in it. peace |
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