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Appocolyptik (0-0) vs Jonathon (0-0)
Topics
The Hand that Helped me Fall Only For the Righteous Tears of the Dead Just a dream... The Shadow Behind Me The Last Mile Circle of Time Sentenced to Love Blooded Placement As the Dawn Fades Through the Glass Of Hate and Love My Sirens Mourn Farewell... The Blade that wouldn't Cut A River Called Life ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Check ins due by Tuesday Verses Due by Thursday Voting Ends Saturday Minumum of 16 lines You can now do your own topic, instead of doing the same one. If you are unsure of the rules click here Good luck and drop dope |
Check, ok due to a number of complaints you can do your own topic instead of agreeing. I'm doing The Hand that Helped me Fall, you can do whatever you please. Good luck.
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Check, I'm thinking The Blade that Wouldnt Cut.
Appo: That's cool, I edited out the freeposts. You can now do your own topic. |
The Blade That Wouldn’t Cut
The past of this man, with a capsule blade in his hand
Hard for one to understand the pain he has went through To live the life of a being, whose whole life has been bland? But who knew, today his day’s end could possibly pursue His troubles kept piling on one another, making it hard For his brain to function correctly as hours kept passing He goes to rehab; it only mocks the pain, scabs start to scar As feelings commence, frustration and hatred remain clashing If he had one wish, I’d be to get rid of this, and he can soon With a deadly sip, with water in his glass, the pill is gone Of course he knew what he did; he’ll be luck to last till noon This poet seeks help, his pen and paper will help him move on I’m dieing, I miss
My life, no longer exist This thing, killing me Within, did I commit a sin? My rip cage aches Lord forgive my mistakes And why I do this I regret it, I now fall abyss. He awakens, losing all memory to where he was found last Lost track of time, his name, and everything else in this world Brain fried, know why? No clue where he was, forgotten past. On top of all this, his body dismantled, suchlike it’s been hurled Was this the work of an angel? The dose should have killed Hells gates must have been full, and the heavens are filled Or was it just luck? The pill should have just killed him, but This crazy setting would be known, as the blade that wouldn’t cut |
 The Hand that Helped me Fall Last known words of Azael, former prince of the watchers… In Heaven we lived, amidst consummate displays of affection Where even the worst of sections were still paragons of perfection W/ The Lord who made a range of diction depicted in the greatest pictures Ablaze with written saintly visions predicted in the Sacred Scriptures A song of praise encrypted with genius displays converging prior To the surge of Angels sacredly burning ablaze to emerge from fire We stood as light in the dark, shields of defence against infernal Shining w/ amaranthine ambience unrelenting and sempiternal Such was the life of an Angel, to serve in their deserved ascension To endlessly follow & never question the flaws of the Lords intentions And it caused dissension even paradise was a place of parasites W/ rage the disgraced would envision waste with their harried eyes And Lucifer… The serpent complete with a belief that God spoke with deceit With conceit he conceived the plan that left him broke w/ defeat Thy God be damned! Thy creator who stands corrupted and foolish The one would ask us to worship Adam... and is utterly clueless! My brothers burnish your rage, and unmake in an earnest display Since when doth the craftsman of fire start to worship his clay! Since when doth the writer clutch his pen in reverence kneeling Before the page, penitently bowing before his creation w/ feeling? Be free of thy chains my brothers! And In freedom absorb the fact That the one who would hold you for love… …Is the one who would hold you back! The heart of the Universe bled falling w/ tears of despair that were all ignored And with my hands soaking in the blood of Angels I sought the fall of the Lord Killing Guardians with an empty gaze, I watched all hopes of redemption fade W/ Lucifer I slaughtered the righteous and put and end to pretentious ways But Lucifer fell… & still envisioning Heavens waste with my harried eyes The true Lord confronted me and triumphantly cast me from paradise Yet Hell was the true Heaven, my name was spoken w/ prominence Feeding on the souls of the wicked I ruled w/ my brothers in dominance But such is the worth of brethren w/ their perception the worse was leavened They showed me it was better to reign in Hell… than to serve in Heaven In forgotten penitence I shed remembrance and answered to Satan’s Call Free of the past at last I became free and grasped the hand… …That helped me fall |
Johnathon did awesome for a newbie, had everything there, great flow, descriptive, nice message, held it down... but he still was no match for Appocolyptik. really unfair... he wrote a book. But I really liked it, very detail to a t, millions of multis, creative, original, and nice use of wurds.... had to use the dictionary a couple of times there. Johnathon I give u muh respect for ur effort, good job, but Appoco locco went sick....
winner-Appocolyptik |
Quote:
for one, i'm not a newb, i just dont have time to write a book because i have shit in REAL life to do, something that doesnt involve the computer, I have alot of other shit to do, but dont start the dickriding please.. just because i have... what.. 50 post on here? |
Man, Appoc might have just killed this...lol...no offense to Jonathon, had some really nice parts in there and the Flow was Great, The Descriptive-ness could have been better but the way you said you were rushed it was good for what it was....
Appoco, Man...nothing i can say accept that, that was a good book, hehe, great descriptiveness and originality.. Multi's was banana's and word usage was just perfect for the way you used it.... Both people did really good..but i have to give it to Appoco.. Vote - Appocolyptik |
^Thank you both for voting. I'll post this as an Open Mic on RB to get more feedback and I'll drop votes in everybodies battles now.
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ahaha Appo you fucking ripped this one...
But I used this concept for an interior monologue on my final exam for english, though it was a little differant, i'll tell you about it on MSN |
^I've wanted to write about Lucifer falling from heaven for ages, but I read this wikipedia about Azael who was influenced by Lucifer and refused to worship Adam and was so cast from Heaven and thought 'actually, this would go dope with The Hand that Helped me Fall'. But aye you gotta tell me about your exam stuff on msn.
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Appo wins 2-0
Appocolyptik (1-0) Jonathon (0-1) |
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