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-   -   Anxiety Vs. BigChase (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=174589)

Dabatos 01-29-05 11:45 AM

Anxiety Vs. BigChase
 
Check in's due before tuesday 12 A.M. Pacific Time
Verses Due before friday 12 A.M. Pacific Time
Line Limit: 20-50 Lines Max
First to 3 votes win
3-0 = KO

You must vote in 2 other battles or you will not continue on into the next round.

Topic: A Child's View (Thanks DQ.)

Keith Moon 01-29-05 02:57 PM

this is bullcrap =)

I said wildcard..wheres my powers..blah I won''t try this round and will be leiminated

g/l anx

Dabatos 01-29-05 03:22 PM

This Battle has been Re-Opened

anxiety 01-30-05 09:59 PM

Check..........

anxiety 02-03-05 06:29 PM

Yo... This is a story... About my life, growing up...

I was a mean kid, nope, i aint never had remorse...
It started with my parents bickerin back and forth...
My mother on the phone, saying, "I hate this jerk"...
Always mad at my dad, when he came home late from work...
Too young to understand, how my father and my mother...
A married couple, could actually hate each other...
My baby brother... He had to go through the same shit...
Listening to hatred, and had no toys to play with...
Moments of silence were sacred... But rarely happened...
Arguements filled the household, we were rarely laughin...
I couldnt believe how often, they were aimin to brawl...
I loved going to school, just to get away from it all...
Takin jabs at each other through me, i hated it...
Memories? Nah, my arguing parents tainted it...
Got worse, i started to hit shit like a brawler...
Then my dad came home with lipstick on his collar...
That moment, felt like my whole life dismantled...
Being a father means you gotta lead by example...
Still young, but aready look at the life i've had...
My worst fear is growing up and being like my dad...

Sean Gunner 02-03-05 06:50 PM

Wow, Anxiety that was deep. I really like that verse. Your multis were perfectly placed, and your emotion and flow were on cue. Only thing is flow was choppy at some points, other than that, dope. 8/10

Keith Moon 02-03-05 07:04 PM

finaly the topic has been posted....

Sean Gunner 02-03-05 07:29 PM

Ya I noticed that Daba hadn't posted it, so I did. Sorry it was so late.

Keith Moon 02-03-05 08:08 PM

No problem.....
This is very deep...but I didn't try much....10 minute key

a child's view, pure and innocent
death is even seen with ignorance
fragile as the youth's bones
secure and tursting outside their homes
a gland changes at times, the bodys clock
a heat of gold and innocence learns to harden like a rock
yet somes views never have the change to change
never maturing, the mental growth only to derange
as youth grows older they grow sick
taking away one's future is what makes them tick
manipulating each one with everey scheme
replacing every aspirations with a menacing dream
the definintion of evil walking among men
metaphoricaly snatching the egg from our hens
their evil lies within the child's hands
it is met forcefully and unwillingly to their demands
the pain lasts the child every mintue of the act so vulgar
the aching inside wont stop until their laid in the sepulchre
as my cheek feels the cold salt I reminisce of the past
of the day I was taken from my class

Sean Gunner 02-03-05 09:52 PM

Anxiety, I like your drop. The flow and emotion are really good. The flow was a bit choppy in some parts, but other than that pretty good. Imagery was good too, I can see parents arguing and little kids just watching. Vocab was aight. 8/10

BigChase, good verse for a keystyle, but I didn't feel a lot of emotion, imagery, but I saw depth. Vocab was ok, but overall your lack of work lost it in this one. 7/10

v/Anxiety

~Babylon~ 02-05-05 12:58 AM

anxiety.......
you didnt have alot of multies.......wasnt very much vocab.....did have good flow.....structer was good....scheme was coo.....like the story......had raw emotion.....I love that :thumbup:


big chase.......
you had good multeis not many tho.......you had very good vocab.......good flow....structer was good.....scheme too.......wasnt alot of story.....lacked the emotion u tryed to express....... :nono:





v/anxiety

Hells Fire 02-05-05 02:15 AM

votin for anxiety

Anxiety- dope drop man came with the multis, the structure and imagry was great. Liked the story the flow was good and the vocab was aight...i liked the drop though dope shit

Big Chase- Like you said you basically gave this to him because although you had the components of the topical you lacked emotion, imagry, and other things that would have boosted you in the battle

DQ 02-05-05 07:37 AM

Anxiety: the strongest aspect of your verse was definately the emotion, so strong and described in such a vivid way. Imagery was nice and I could actually see and hear the screaming and arguements. Was feeling your flow, structure was good and found good balance with your vocab. You always keep it quite simple and yet, you manage to express everything in such a raw way...solid drop!

BigChase: your vocab was more complex but it didn't support the emotion which lacked in your verse. Had your flow on lock and the structure was good, imagery could've been better. It was fairly obvious you didn't put too much effort into it...but overall, it was on okay drop...no hate...

Vote goes to Anxiety

Sean Gunner 02-05-05 12:14 PM

Anxiety wins this due to a 3-0 KO. Good job Anxiety.

CLOSED


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