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Stanza (3-2) vs. Illumatic (0-1)
Battles up Monday - Check In by Wednesday - Drop by Friday - Votes by Sunday
No line limit and the battler with most votes by Sunday night is the winner. If this is a topical battle, write a topical and not a poetic drop and the same is vice a versa. Extensions must be asked for by Thursday night by pming any of the mods (Drakel or Drama Queen). No extensions will be given 4 if asked 4 on Friday night. Extensions are only given till Sunday night at the most. If you dont ask for an extention, and drop whenever you feel like it you will be disqualified. Do not abuse extentions, they are not to be used if you're just too lazy to drop within the confines of the circumstances. Leave reasonable explanation for your absense. If the League notices you are a slacker due to this nature you will be banned for being out-right slothfully callous. Don't ho-show because you will be banned if you do it twice. We can understand you cannot drop due to certain circumstances but if this happens a second time, you're banned from the league for 2 weeks. If you signed up for both leagues and you no-show in one league twice, you will be banned in both leagues! Try to limit the freeposts, we will have a chat/beef thread for that. Also give fully explained votes, if not your votes won't count! New rule: first to get 3 votes wins by KO Your Topic: Lonely Shelter |
check in...
i will drop this time :) |
Checkin In .....................Good Topic .............I Already got ideas of my Story line LOL
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Lonely Shelter It Was Good to be Secure Inside My Own Shelter But I was So Lonely Because I didnt Have My helper She Was My Friend in The Time of Helpless Despair My Enemy When I Felt That I Needed her There I Thought I was Safely Set In My Comfortable bed When I Heard a Cry & I Thought I Heard It Said "Save Me My Love For I am Closer to Death" But When I wanted To Help I Only Thought of Myself So Instead of Going to Save her I saved Me & That seemed To Be The Right Thing to do You See I Thought Of Her Basically As Just Another Girl It Was Like Being rich & She was Just Another Peral But Now that She's Gone I Feel That I Have Failed Failed in Life & Failed In Hope And I Feel That Well I Have To Say That Now I Truely Do Regret The day She Asked for Help & She Did Not Get Anyone To Ease Teh Pain or to Make It Better So Now I sit All Alone After Love In a Lonely Shelter :( Goodluck Famz :thumbup: |
ill post either 2marrow or the next day or friday... lol
not a bad verse.... eh... this will be enjoyable |
this is the first time i could post... MY CPU has been fucked...srry about that...
my verse will come tonight |
All I got left is a gun, 3 clips and this old rusty shed they’re all dead, executions; one bullet strait thru the head The are all gone, murdered and destroyed by the enemy its only me, alone... stuck in my mindless conceptuality They come for me... searching... they hunt for my life so I ready my knife... just incase I need to suddenly strike When will they find out that I’m right under their nose my fear steadily grows... from here, it seems they don’t know Will they find me? Should I just stand up and unload? But yet I sit... and beads of sweat runs down my brow what was that crack? Should I get up and run now? Fuck they know... I have don’t have a choice but flee... suddenly a shooting spree...I would have died inevitably a cold burst... oh god it hurts... I limp and fall to the ground then another sound, just a snap as another bullet hits my back Why didn’t I stay in my own space... my safety box? But then the thoughts stop............... ...............death comes in cold slow waves of electric shocks |
Stanza: I'm digging the concept you used here, it was quite creative even though it's not a topic you can do a million things with. The story developed nicely, you expressed strong and pure emotion, imagery was there too. Vocab might have been a bit upped but it gave the piece a sort of serene vibe. Flow was good, had short lines and that improved ya flow. Maybe a little more details here and there wouldn't have hurt you, expanded it a little maybe but overall this was a very solid piece!
Illumatic: quite original approach of the topic, had an interesting story line which kept the readers focussed throughout the whole thing. Might have expanded it a little too but you gave enough details though. The imagery was excellent and you combined it with raw emotion, I could see it as a movie in front of my eyes. Vocab might be bit more complex in places but overall it was good, flow was aight, had some multis too. Vote goes to Illumatic |
stanza....nice drop.....short, clear and concise.....you stayed on the topic and delivered a nice piece with it, nice approach to it, vocab was kinda basic and cud've been better, it flowed nicely.....there was good imagery in the piece and the whole piece developed well.........props.
illumatic......decent drop.....another original approach to the topic....good flow throughout and you never fell off the topic.....you had more vocabs in ya piece than stanza, a lot of emotion throughout the piece....imagery of the verse was dope, make the reader able to picture what is happening.......like stanza i thought you cud've added sumthin more to the piece but ya still had a dope piece. V/ - ILLUMATIC |
Voting closed, Illumatic wins by 2 votes to 0 for Stanza
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