Put On Hold -> You are #3 in line
 

Hello, Thank you for calling God
If you want to to speak to God in English, Press one
Tu Quieres hablar con Dios en Espanol, Prensas dos
(beep)
You've chosen to speak to God in English, if this is correct, press one, if not, press star to go back.
(beep)
Thank you.
(ring ring ring)

Remember a time
probably before you were nine
when the only things that mattered were you and them and it and him
when bologni or ham where the biggest decisions you made
when girls were icky and life was simple
you had that dimple and everyone pinched the fuck out of it?
Remember when even the make believe bad words were bad
so you'd say nonsense like "Shoot... bang bang"?
seven up and king chase queen on rainy days
hopscotch, monkey bars, dodgeball
we were boxball masters and no one could touch us

And all that time...
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord my soul to keep
And if i die before I wake
I pray the lord my soul to take

God was just a shout away to keep us safe to keep us sane
promoting a sense of wellness just in the utterance of his name
and then we got older
got connected
developed materialism
wanted money


Your call is very important to God, please hold and your call will be answered in the order it was received.
(sing elevator music)


remember that time
around the age of twelve?
the other sex pressed heavy on our concious
unconcious to the big picture
soon they were our world, they were our drive, they were our downfall
because we stopped for that moment to be who we were
collectively we all did
like a ray that started with us and followed to our elders and beyond them
it seemed as though our self-bastardization occured overnight
but no one can pin point that night
we were always on this track and like population it occurs exponentially
we are who we are because that is the foundation that was laid

and through corporate mergers, catch phrases, procedures, policies
checklists, quotas, HMO's, IPO's, a solid ground in fallacies
we lost connection with us until we were it
then when the buildings collapse we wonder how we even got here
and now that we complicate things we wonder where God is?
Bowling? Playing tennis?
Probably watching, crying, wondering why we no longer speak to him
Good thing AT&T finally listed his number
And it only costs my soul


Thank for holding, you are number 3 in que, please continue to hold.
::elevator music::





A peice that i worked on in my spare time, or when i was bored... even though i didnt dedicate alot of "offical" time into this, i put alot of work into it, and any feedback is appreciated and returned :thumbup:

this piece is ok, not really good but its ok. not really feeling the structure, lost the flow in some places, needs work. but other then that, the topic was nice. not to obiest. i like the wordplay that was bieng formatted. but needs work..

yeah i thot it was a real original piece i liked the concept n the meaning behind the words, structure was...meh...lol but its a poem so maybe u wanted it to be like that! :huh: anyways keep comin up wit original shit like that i enjoyed readin it!

aiight, thanx for the honest feed - i was really tyna to convey emotion, not realy show off talent, but yes i need to work on those... thanx for thee feed
:thumbup:



yea like i said above, i wasnt working for structure more like emotion, but i will work on structure - thanx for the feed, glad you liked it
:thumbup:

^^^true. but its TOO original...but you did good.

how can sumthin be too original!? :huh:

you just confused the fuck outta me... how can it be "TOO" orignal... isnt the farther away from being a copy-cat mean your more orignal... but yea,,, ne ways

ay nice drop man...i liked the meanin behind it...good emotion and it was original not somethin u see alot nemore...keep it up 1

word yo, thanx for the feed... much appreciated...

wow, missed this one, here goes: the emotional factor was strong in this piece,you had it set up nice,with the calls in the background,i could almost hear the elevator music..lol, this was very creative, your vocabulary was strong as well, i enjoyed this poem, it was smart, sentimental and nostalgic, good shit.1