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-   -   sick within (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=187455)

Effect 04-23-05 12:38 PM

sick within
 
somebody get me out this place
let me vanish away without a trace
To much to take hearts ripped and torn
let me out here so i can now reborn
the pressure is making a me hurt deep inside
the pain is deep within u can see it in my eyes
I stay up and watch the skys
thinking about all these forbidden lies
everyday I cry at night sick of the sight
nothing is ever gonna be alrite
leave me alone cuz the pain has got to stop
everytime i get up my body feels a sudden shock
anxious with not a sense of confidence
sick of bein abused these words r my only defence
understand ive never done you ever wrong
how can i get better when im never strong
im tried of all this stress why do u always test
my anger will cut your wrists you know im blessed
you don't know exacly how I feel
with all your problems ya makin me Ill
how to I survive this is like mental torcher
every single thing ive done is out of order
how do i get out this big black hole
why is it dat everything u say got 2 be cold
I can't with hold it's way to much to take
i wish i was in a dream and could never wake
it's like a dream nothing is what it seems
the problems are endless this cannot be
your makin me weak sufficated by depression
there you wonder why i have so much agression
theres 2 many questions this world will beat you
but i refuze to be the one that u defeat to
im not the type of person ur gonna speak 2
I fucking hate you i wouldn't wanna meet you
to be an emcee you have to require skill
cuz my sick thoughts will leave ya in higher fields
lyrically medically and mentally unstable
you know im going far im just able
your not gonna take me under
my imagination is gonna hit like thunder

Young-Prophecy 04-23-05 02:39 PM

Dis was iight flow was good wordplay was alright.....u stayed on topic all da way through da verse....overall i would have to give u a 7.5/10.....~1~

Kawn Flixx 04-23-05 03:29 PM

This Was A Decent Peice , I Felt It Could Have Been Alot Better
I Felt You Could Have Used Better Vocab, Maybe Some Stronger Wordplay,
Structure Was Pretty Good , Sorta Feel Off In The Middle.
Concept Was Okay, Could Have Been Alot Better...
Elevate On The Grabing The Alittle Better... And Try To Use Better Wordplay,
And Vocab , Keep It Up Though , And Drop A Link Or This'll Get Closed

Effect 04-23-05 05:12 PM

thanks it was a fair decent peice


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