Read This..Its Important To Me..Ill Hit Urs Up
 

OutWrite Productions

One More Time.... Uhhhhhhhhh..

This One Is A Lil Deeper.. You Know What Im Tryin To Say Baby

You Remind Me Of A Girl I Used To School Down With
Fool Around With, Get Hot And Heavy And Go Out With
You Even Got Those PoutLips, Lookin Good In Any Outfit
I Wanna Beleave In EveryThing U Say, And Never Doubt Shit
Lay Around With, With That Sound System Playin Our Song
Our Relationship Cant Fall Off, Baby, Weve Made It Too Strong
All Our History, Memories, The Time You Said That Youd Miss Me
My Heart Beating Briskly As You Kiss Me, Are You Listening?

Cuz These R The Days Of Our Lives, Staring In Your Eyes
Who Cares If We Live Or Die, Just Lay In My Arms Tonight
Its Vital, In You I Confide Too, Your Soft Breath On My Chest
In Sickness Or At My Best, The Rest Of My Life With U Till Death
From Frst Date, To My Awake To See Your Smiling Face
U Patiently Wait, Watching Me In My Deep Sleep State
U Wink, I Return, Everything Stops like It On Freeze
U Blew In With The Breeze, Spend Life With Me Please

wow niceee....
short but to the point, i really feel you on this one, cuz im fiding myself in a really good relationship too right now....

You're flow was real good, i followed you very well...vocab good...
you peice seemed quick, i dunno if you idd that on purpose or not....i dunno...
very good peice

9/10, just becuz its short

470000 Words A Minutes... Twista Style

When I Read It and Rap It To My Self..Its Like...15 Secs

word this is dope for sure

You Remind Me Of A Girl I Used To School Down With
Fool Around With, Get Hot And Heavy And Go Out With
You Even Got Those PoutLips, Lookin Good In Any Outfit
^^^multies like whoa... VERY nice opener man...

All Our History, Memories, The Time You Said That Youd Miss Me
My Heart Beating Briskly As You Kiss Me, Are You Listening?
^^^lovin these multis as well... my fav part of the OM

see i told you last night to collab with me on this shit... but nooooo

so now we got 2 open mics about the same thing.. it could have been great... it really could have :( this is dope tho... i like you better on this style, gettin back to your roots... keep up the good shit man

It's amazing how well you displayed all that feeling and emotion, every last point of the relationship into a few lines...everything flowed really smoothly...I'm upset that it ended when it did..I could've kept reading more..

Keep this shit up..

Im Just Dope..

Look Forward To more...Im Trying to Get Back To What I Used To Be..You Know..All Dope And Stuff

this was outright well done
the flow was great..the words just painted a picture very well
only flaw id have to say was the lenght...it had an ending but it seemed that you could have added another verse in the middle.. spice it up with a hook
none the less a good read

if you would be so kind
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=87052

Ermm, I s'pose it was decent. . Cliché subject & way of approaching it, inn'it? Don't let the audience's downtroddened sexual life get'yuh down, though - el oh el. Personally, I don't feel that there was anything derivitive of immensely bad or good traits. It read like a Fabolous single that has been played every fifteen minutes on the radio for the past three months. . That's honesty. I suggest you choose a deeper subject to showcase the talent that it's evident you have. The flow was tidy & you had some budding ideas - get to work & get back in the swing of things. G'luck.

Avah

impressive, good flow and great expression. Some of the words did seem a little over used but one the whole excellent.

keep on doin what you do best

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the shit was hot, i would like to hear you spit it twista style, just to hear how it sounds. Good flow never the less