My deepest Love
 

my inner self behold secrets of love
the city in me
I keep it drugged
like a Los Angeles street
luggin heavy feelings in tears
you've been gone 4(for) 6 years
out of reach so in fear
I'm tuggin at a higher plan
a reason from higher judgement
to keep these memories
below me bestow me
you surround me with tsunami's
cover my L.A
my ocean need a latitude adjustment
I'm strugglin
in my own water I strangle in confusion
and anger
you rise a liquid angel
your so beautiful
the water subsided
my city turn 2 silver and gold
no longer black and coal
like atlantis with earth rearranged
we're one at home
baby you changed me

I focused myself to write this more in a hip hop style rather than in pure poetic form. I hope that helps in getting the most out of what I'm trying to say.

This was good. Nice dedication to your love. Love does seem to change people. Either for the good or for the worse. But I liked this. It was sweet, the flow was good, and so was the vocab. Overall, I liked it, good job.

This is very...sweet (yeah, not the best word to use..but still).

It struck some chords. Very personal and just had a kind of 'elevanted innocence' to it.

..resp...

hey just enjoy, its not personal at all. The message I'm giving is that I am the city and my gf is the ocean. She gives me tough love 2 make me see who I really am so I can change. hence the city turning into silver and gold. Just 2 tell u what it means going by how I wrote it.

I liked this a lot. It was short and sweet and you really got the message of love out. Keep writing, you have a nice style.