The Mind Of A Killer!!!!!
 

replys:http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...516#post1035516
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...520#post1035520
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...521#post1035521





The mind of a fucking killer is a terible place/
Hes a fucker who murders and luvs the chase/
He loves the feeling and he luvs to kill/
He not only love the smell but also the feel/
He kills fuckers day , night and dawn/
Hes killed people sense the day he was born/







I hate all the shit in the world but i dont wine/
When bitches fuck wit my head i act like Im fine/
I feel like my world is caving in wit noplace to go/
One night I relized I couldnt take it no mo/
My dad aproched me wit this line right here/
I think you been smoking weed and drinking beer/
I went off like I had no sense in my head/
He ask me a bad fuckin question no hes dead/
The day after that I went to the mo fuckin store/
The cashier thought i toke sumthin, that whore/
So she ask me if I did the shit and I said no/
She wouldnt stop fuckin talkin that fuckin ho/
So I ask her to search me the best she can/
But that was all part of my fuckin plan/
She started searching me and I hit her in the face/
Where can you find that bitch now ? no place/



The mind of a fucking killer is a terible place/
Hes a fucker who murders and luvs the chase/
He loves the feeling and he luvs to kill/
He not only love the smell but also the feel/
He kills fuckers day , night and dawn/
Hes killed people sense the day he was born/




He rolled up to tha jail house rollin on dubs/
He wanted to get his gurl thats all it was/
then the cop ask what he was there for/
He looked at the cop knocked him to the floor/
He went out tha door but the cop couldnt stop/
Killer relized he could make it less this fool was dropped/
So he pulled his gun out and shot the pig/
He looked at him bleed and smoked a cig/
He thought to himself "Whats happened to me"/
"I kill one dude now I kill every one i see"/
then he looked at the pig and thought again/
"Ill kill every fucker on earth thats not my friend"/
He then went to his home and seen his wife/
He saw her fuckin another dude , and got a knife/
He said to the dude ,"ont make me mad"/
"Im a fuckin husband and a fuckin dad"/
Im a worker , a guy, a student , and thiller
But the funnest job i got is being a killer?





The mind of a fucking killer is a terible place/
Hes a fucker who murders and luvs the chase/
He loves the feeling and he luvs to kill/
He not only love the smell but also the feel/
He kills fuckers day , night and dawn/
Hes killed people sense the day he was born/







Give me some feedback homies.

Good shit. Very long thats a whole fuckin song. Anyway its good words and everything but your format needs a little work other than that it was some good shit.

Holla At Em

Yo....

The good - It seems like ur best verse was ur last verse. It rhymed well and started showing signs of multi usage. All verses flowed nice

The Bad - The other verses seemed to lack metas or multies... Add these or some wordplay to the piece .......

that shit was hot dawg

pretty cool shit, some really good punches. i liked the third verse the best, it was like the big conclusion. nice drop.

i was feeling that shit it was mad nice the shit you said was banging hola at my shit down 2 ride

that shit was hot.... and im not even a killer but now i wanna be.
you need to drop that shit to a fire ass beat.

That was aight man, but u could work on yo vocab a little bit, it would be better that way and little more complex

it flowed good and structure is good.....keep flowin

It was tight. I was feelin it.
Holla
Necee

yo I need some mo feedback

Yeah this was alright i thought....your structure in this was alright....your vocab could be up'd though i think it was alright but just try to up it....but your flow in this piece was good, it stayed on, never really got off....try adding some more multies though...but keep at it.