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Valor Vs. 50Hater_Killer
Rules:
Battles Go Up Friday Check In Due Sunday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time Verses Due Tuesday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time Voting Ends Thursday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time 20 Lines Minimum 40 Lines Maximum No Biting No Recycling Do Not Go Over The Line Limit Or Under The Line Limit Meaning No Less Than 20 Lines No More Than 40 Lines You Must Vote On 3 Battles Per Week And Edit Them Into Your Check-In.. If You Dont Do So, Youre Banned From The Tourney The Following Week Topic: In Too Deep |
check en in and hey flow can I ask for another topic homes?
If Valor Agrees To A Topic Change Then Sure.. PM Him - F.I |
i like this topic......word
checking in |
ok then we will stay with the topic checked check check!
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ever since my younger days, iv been criminal minded i stole a car, and hit a man, which i left severely blinded got 2 years in a juvenile facility, there i took medication for my insanity, because i made bad choices with no hesitation depressed and anxious, wonder why i am like this why be sad, i cant take this, IM going to fight this just the other day, i caught my mother smoking crack i thought to myself, in the middle of all this, where is God at gets me so mad, that IM now the only sibling my brother was murdered, because the way he was living he had a 3.0 GPA, and a football scholarship he was always smart, he never bothered shit but fuck it, i hate life i cant take the stress i wasn't blessed, with a life of good, IM living in a mess my father was a drug Fein, serving life in prison another number in the system, the bastard i don't miss him not there throughout my life, so i do drugs just to get high and take my mind off things, that make me curl up and cry tears dropping down my eyes, my heart is full of guilt because all of my life, it was love that I never felt but steal I remain a man, with no one to look up to all I have to say to those who tried to bring me down ............................... .......is FUCK YOU |
I look into this mirror as if I have no more hope,
for all my change and my money has gone to all this dope, But I remembered my dreams to go to college, but now all I have turn to is a alcholoic. Mom's use to say that this shit was bad, but when I first started it I knew this is what all I had. it all started out for fun and games but now all these drugs have me taimed. I have been kicked out of the career I loved. for after all I need a little change for some bud. but now I stand here watching the time passy bye, for my mind has nothing better to do but to die. my house and my soul is no more for this world. for now I call all my furniture my bedroom floow, my life has taken some curvy pages, for as I huff on this weed all it does is just gets me waisted, my family has adandoned me for they say I have no life, and I have lost friends greater then this including my dear wife but while I lie here in this worn down battle ground my mind chases me as a lost hound. but all I know that I have done with all these drugs, is it has torn me and aten me like a posinoeses bug. for I have drag myself into deep! ________________________ dedicated to josh 1986-2004 |
Closer battle than i expected...
Valor... You stayed on topic well, and you came with quite a bit of emotion... The two main things in your verse that i see room for improvement, are imagery and flow... Your flow was extremely bad in some places... But you made up for a lot of it with that ending, that was a dope way to end off your story, and a dope way to end off that topic... Overall it was a good read, flow was the major thing i had trouble with... 7.5/10 50... You also stayed on topic well... And you had better imagery than Valor, and some pretty good emotion as well... Your flow managed to be even worse than his, which i find amazing... And about 4-6 lines just came off as being extremely herbish... And I wasnt feeling your ending that much at all either... Still a pretty strong verse... 7/10 V/Valor |
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Yea I'ma vote for valor on this one. I can see why 50 wanted a new topic, the topic was kida open. in too deep in what? but suprisingly they both stayed with the same aproach to the topic. I just felt what valor was sayin when he was talkin bout he was in too deep into this life. 50 had left me thinkin that he was livin a bad life as well but he wasnt trapped (in too deep) in it. Maybe its the way i was reading it but my vote goes to valor.
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Valor wins by KO
Valor +5 50Hater_Killer -3 |
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