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-   -   For That Moment (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=216700)

Sean Gunner 12-10-05 03:20 AM

For That Moment
 
For That Moment

You are my sun that gives me my reason for breathing
When it seems like everything else in life is depleting.
I go to you for help, and you will tell me what is goin on,
And if you don’t like my actions, we talk about it and move on.
You are my light to show me how far off paths I go,
I was once a little man, but you exposed my shadow.
As I take your hand I think about how life changed one day,
We didn’t even talk, we couldn’t think of anything to say.
Maybe we were meant to be, all I know is I’m glad to see,
That no matter how I act, you’ll always be there for me.
Out of my solitude of darkness, you let me see the silver lining,
That one person is not worth the heartache and crying.
There was a spell over me, but now I’m free,
Like something was blinding my heart, but now I can see.


I keep you in my heart and I’ll never forget you,
Because even if we broke up, I wouldn’t know how to.
You’ve influenced me, more than I can tell you,
I would hide in my shell of security before I met you.
You picked me up when I was down…..see
Somehow you saw the real me with the shroud around me.
You are the colors to my fall, the breeze to my spring,
The friend of my life, the bird that perches and sings.
You kept my brain in order, and I cry as I write this,
But I can’t hold back anymore, I refuse to fight it.
If only you knew how much you helped my world,
Then you would realize why you are more than my girl.
I write to you so that it may shed some light to the truth,
Looking past my appearance, even if Joe did break my tooth.


I would give you the stars and wolves, to sparkle in the sky,
So that when you go out, you always remember that one guy
Who tried to give you the best he had, but still fell short
Of what you deserve, but I will always be your escort.
Lead you to heaven’s gates so you know your beauty,
To find someone so nice and true happens so rarely.
Such a shame in life, that all aren’t so confident like us,
But maybe together we can change lives, be their witness.
I barely know you, yet I feel like I’ve known for so long,
But before I know it my life will be over, and you will be gone.
That’s why I wish to spend so much of my time with you,
Cuz I know one day it must end, but I know I can trust you,
And you can trust me to keep the promises I make to you,
But now I must conclude this song, but take these words with you.
I love you.

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?p=2570200&posted=1#post2570200
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?p=2570202&posted=1#post2570202

Mentalz 12-10-05 10:39 AM

Oh look, Ima be a Long As Fuck Drop and wana' get read and fed.

Well Motherfucker, Hold On, I'm Reading You So I CAN Feed You.

Mentalz 12-10-05 10:42 AM

Mess. You have the best sig i've ever seen. Period.

Dervla 12-10-05 10:45 AM

Alright this was good. I liked the imaginary and the approach you took on the Topic an dthe Emotion was def there, I felt it. I hope she likes this when you give it to her. What I found interesting was your metaphors, that's what kep tme interesting and kept me reading your verse. My fav was....


I would give you the stars and wolves, to sparkle in the sky,
So that when you go out, you always remember that one guy
Who tried to give you the best he had, but still fell short
Of what you deserve, but I will always be your escort.
Lead you to heaven’s gates so you know your beauty,
To find someone so nice and true happens so rarely.
Such a shame in life, that all aren’t so confident like us,
But maybe together we can change lives, be their witness.
I barely know you, yet I feel like I’ve known for so long,
But before I know it my life will be over, and you will be gone.
That’s why I wish to spend so much of my time with you,
Cuz I know one day it must end, but I know I can trust you,
And you can trust me to keep the promises I make to you,
But now I must conclude this song, but take these words with you.
I love you.

Damn I just love that part so vivid portrait and fill with decent Emotions.

OVERALL keep writing, nice drop.

Sean Gunner 12-10-05 11:04 AM

Thanks for the feed Lola. I'll leave some feed on yours now.

Mentalz 12-10-05 11:28 AM

Man, Emotional as fuck. I'm crying. Not really but you know. ;)

It almost seems like yo wrote this one for a girl you've just met in real life... or is it just a random topical?

10/10 on the emotion.
Basic word play, see=me=be=tree ect. Up the vocab bro, though it didnt hinder the piece, the emotion made sure of that.

Your basic love song. Meh. Seen it, done it & abandoned it. Nice job though.

Not much else to say except up the wordplay, add some multies. Keep the emotion an' you're good.

Nice flow, but basic, ya know?

Keep it up man, long as fuck too.

Peace.

Sean Gunner 12-10-05 04:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mentalz
Man, Emotional as fuck. I'm crying. Not really but you know. ;)

It almost seems like yo wrote this one for a girl you've just met in real life... or is it just a random topical?

10/10 on the emotion.
Basic word play, see=me=be=tree ect. Up the vocab bro, though it didnt hinder the piece, the emotion made sure of that.

Your basic love song. Meh. Seen it, done it & abandoned it. Nice job though.

Not much else to say except up the wordplay, add some multies. Keep the emotion an' you're good.

Nice flow, but basic, ya know?

Keep it up man, long as fuck too.

Peace.


Audio piece for my girl.


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