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-   -   Drama Queen vs. sabre (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=219786)

DQ 01-16-06 03:22 PM

Drama Queen vs. sabre
 



Check-ins are due WEDNESDAY
Topical pieces are due FRIDAY
All the voting ends on SUNDAY

Rules & info can be found: here

I'll post the topic thread right away, opponents do not have to agree on the topic, they can write on different ones!



DQ 01-18-06 02:31 PM

Checkity Check Check

sabre 01-18-06 02:47 PM

yes, i'm in

sabre 01-18-06 06:24 PM

My topic will be Broken Hourglass

DQ 01-19-06 12:14 PM

I'm using my extension credit, to be sure I'll put it till Sunday but I'll probably drop sooner though. Just making sure...

DQ 01-22-06 05:44 PM






Those we never spoke of


The moon shines brightly above me amid a dark blue bliss
I view those we speak politely of...see...I never knew this
Apparently we're diverse but in the dark we're all the same
Maybe it's due to this curse that I dare not to say his name
For he now belongs to the others, the Belgians told us so
Even though we were like brothers, the honors he'd bestow
Hutu or Tutsi...I don't care because he is a friend, my blood
When we walk hand in hand, they stare, giving a hatred flood
We play side by side, doing what every other child would do
We view bright eyed to the world around us, paint sky blue
Keep rolling in the dirt; chase each other through an old town
Smile with ripped shirt but suddenly it's turned upside down
Into a frown as we hear steps...the soldiers now approach

"Look who it is here, I think we got ourselves a cockroach"

Shivers sent down our spine, terrified they’ll take him away
“Don’t steal this friend of mine”, I scream…
…I still do to this day…

Those we never spoke of were still this close, to my heart
He was the enemy…I would’ve never chosen for us to part
Because to me, he was my soulmate, my partner in crime
I guess I could not change his fate, if it’s time it’s his time
The promise I did keep though, he asked me to protect her
“My sister will need a bro”, he told me, it was handled for
But who would’ve expected it to grow into something more
I couldn’t have suspected her to be my support, stable floor
Today, I still see my friend inside his sister’s satiric eyes
In the very beginning, it was difficult to keep away from lies
But later, I saw beyond the disguise and saw her as whole
I may be a Hutu in reality, but I feel like a Tutsi in my soul
‘Cause I love them to fatality, they are these true leaders
But no one believes me, not even western press readers
I tried to sell my story, to let my brother in law live on now
But they think I want glory when I just wanna keep my vow
To these ones that we never spoke of, the enemy of us all
Yet they are the ones that kept me above, never let me fall
Own people wanted my demise, enemies caused my rise
As I look from the skies to my wife, I notice that she cries
So I ask her why she feels this uncontrollable urge to cry
And she answers me:

I love you but you are not mine.
You belong to them.
I’ll always be the one you never spoke of


As she looks over thousand graves, tears roll down cheeks
They were nothing but nameless slaves, she now shrieks
I guess it is too much for her to come back to this place
Where her people suffered, the area just breathes disgrace
I forget what she said just now and drag her into my arms
She did not mean her words but the painful memory harms
She may be part of those we never spoke of but I have love
Love needs no vocal affirmation at all so why speak thereof?



sabre 01-22-06 11:56 PM

forgot about this, whatever, ya'll probly ride DQ anyways...

Broken Hourglass

theres no telling time, there's no guessing fate
but when your times almost up, do you wanna sit around and wait?


imagine an hourglass, an old hybrid contraption
the holder of souls, the undying assassin
defying passions of life, supplying the cycle
fallen grains polish pain, abolish whats vital
for each speck of sand etches seconds in the past
a puppet of time passed with no strings attached
outlasting the greatest minds, surpassing infinity
strumming lifes beats with deaths own symphony
a melody so faint, feiged by existence
no-names knowing fate show more persistence
more eagerness to speed up time, cutting the distance
but i defy the business all in a single instant
when i put my hands to the glass, search for a sign
life flashes before me, and see death right behind
and the sand is still falling, enthralling the mind
a mountain of burden i'll never hope to climb
until the top is in sight, carried by pride
but tables turn often, and you're burried by time
designed as a method, to progress human progress
to surpress the unlimited, balance any offsets
through the fall of these options, others have risen
escaping reality leads inside time's prison
and through the ongoing process, crosses and hope
the noose around your neck is starting to choke
the sands still fall......grooving a pattern
smooth and bland....but the hands could master
plans to a puzzle i've been after for ages
a perfect portrait of me crafting paintings
then the hourglass shatters, time seemingly ended
at last i realize what i've so heedlessly rendered
a dove emerges from the dust, free from pain
outside sun shines through skies of rain
i grab a handful of sand, tightning the grip
knowing how quick life rightfully slips
i'm sure time will catch up, somewhere when i'm old
but for now its in my hands......mine to control

DQ 01-23-06 03:09 PM

Let's get some votes please...I'll set new battles up already though.

DQ 01-24-06 03:58 PM

This will be open till Wednesday since verses were dropped only Sunday night.

-Substance- 01-25-06 11:20 AM

damn, both were amazing....drama's had a real good story and sabre's came with an amazing multi, complex rhyming verse. although sabre's does seem incredible in the way it rhymes and is just perfect if it was an open mic, it didn't take his topic into a creative side like drama's. since this is a topical battle, i have to say drama won since she took that one pic and made it into a well written story.....

vote-drama

sabre 01-25-06 03:09 PM

OMFG i hate you

DQ 01-25-06 03:37 PM

^It'll be up till later tonight, I'll contact people to vote or so (not for me of course, just in general like I asked Tech), you can do the same.

-Substance- 01-25-06 03:48 PM

i'm sorry you hate me sabre, both did good tho....

FlowIntelligent. 01-25-06 08:34 PM

i gotta go with sabre here...

His piece was just impressive. DQ you had a good verse but it was bland it held no emotion to me and you worded some stuff poorly. Sabre on the other hand used this topic to his advantage and posted a good verse, with amazing imagery and good emotion.

I think both could have used a bit more depth but as far as this battle goes, Sabre's gotta take it, he just took control of the verse and never loosened his grip. It was an easy read yet complex in its own form.


DQ: Overall: 7/10

Sabre: Overall: 8.5/10


Vote: Sabre

Stanza. 01-26-06 05:33 PM

Well

Sabre
I Liked your piece but I can tell that it was written like right on the spot so it did seem kinda rushed and that seem to me to limit your creativity and to lower your use of vocabulary which is not a big deal but yet ...it is a factor...I Think you did well but you couldve done better you kinda swayed off someways in the middle so thats why i couldnt give my v to you

sorry

Drama Queen
Ok first of all This here

"I love you but you are not mine.
You belong to them.
I’ll always be the one you never spoke of"

Was the best line of your drop I feel that it kinda tied in to exactly what that girl was thinkin you pulled out what most people wouldnt see in the picture which I feel was and is a great talent and you stayed focus on yout topic and you connected well with your vocab so that why I give my v/ to YOU

My v/ DQ

Nice battle


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