Drama Queen vs. sabre
Check-ins are due WEDNESDAY Topical pieces are due FRIDAY All the voting ends on SUNDAY Rules & info can be found: here I'll post the topic thread right away, opponents do not have to agree on the topic, they can write on different ones! |
Checkity Check Check
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yes, i'm in
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My topic will be Broken Hourglass
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I'm using my extension credit, to be sure I'll put it till Sunday but I'll probably drop sooner though. Just making sure...
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Those we never spoke of The moon shines brightly above me amid a dark blue bliss I view those we speak politely of...see...I never knew this Apparently we're diverse but in the dark we're all the same Maybe it's due to this curse that I dare not to say his name For he now belongs to the others, the Belgians told us so Even though we were like brothers, the honors he'd bestow Hutu or Tutsi...I don't care because he is a friend, my blood When we walk hand in hand, they stare, giving a hatred flood We play side by side, doing what every other child would do We view bright eyed to the world around us, paint sky blue Keep rolling in the dirt; chase each other through an old town Smile with ripped shirt but suddenly it's turned upside down Into a frown as we hear steps...the soldiers now approach "Look who it is here, I think we got ourselves a cockroach" Shivers sent down our spine, terrified they’ll take him away “Don’t steal this friend of mine”, I scream… …I still do to this day… Those we never spoke of were still this close, to my heart He was the enemy…I would’ve never chosen for us to part Because to me, he was my soulmate, my partner in crime I guess I could not change his fate, if it’s time it’s his time The promise I did keep though, he asked me to protect her “My sister will need a bro”, he told me, it was handled for But who would’ve expected it to grow into something more I couldn’t have suspected her to be my support, stable floor Today, I still see my friend inside his sister’s satiric eyes In the very beginning, it was difficult to keep away from lies But later, I saw beyond the disguise and saw her as whole I may be a Hutu in reality, but I feel like a Tutsi in my soul ‘Cause I love them to fatality, they are these true leaders But no one believes me, not even western press readers I tried to sell my story, to let my brother in law live on now But they think I want glory when I just wanna keep my vow To these ones that we never spoke of, the enemy of us all Yet they are the ones that kept me above, never let me fall Own people wanted my demise, enemies caused my rise As I look from the skies to my wife, I notice that she cries So I ask her why she feels this uncontrollable urge to cry And she answers me: I love you but you are not mine. You belong to them. I’ll always be the one you never spoke of As she looks over thousand graves, tears roll down cheeks They were nothing but nameless slaves, she now shrieks I guess it is too much for her to come back to this place Where her people suffered, the area just breathes disgrace I forget what she said just now and drag her into my arms She did not mean her words but the painful memory harms She may be part of those we never spoke of but I have love Love needs no vocal affirmation at all so why speak thereof? |
forgot about this, whatever, ya'll probly ride DQ anyways...
Broken Hourglass theres no telling time, there's no guessing fate but when your times almost up, do you wanna sit around and wait? imagine an hourglass, an old hybrid contraption the holder of souls, the undying assassin defying passions of life, supplying the cycle fallen grains polish pain, abolish whats vital for each speck of sand etches seconds in the past a puppet of time passed with no strings attached outlasting the greatest minds, surpassing infinity strumming lifes beats with deaths own symphony a melody so faint, feiged by existence no-names knowing fate show more persistence more eagerness to speed up time, cutting the distance but i defy the business all in a single instant when i put my hands to the glass, search for a sign life flashes before me, and see death right behind and the sand is still falling, enthralling the mind a mountain of burden i'll never hope to climb until the top is in sight, carried by pride but tables turn often, and you're burried by time designed as a method, to progress human progress to surpress the unlimited, balance any offsets through the fall of these options, others have risen escaping reality leads inside time's prison and through the ongoing process, crosses and hope the noose around your neck is starting to choke the sands still fall......grooving a pattern smooth and bland....but the hands could master plans to a puzzle i've been after for ages a perfect portrait of me crafting paintings then the hourglass shatters, time seemingly ended at last i realize what i've so heedlessly rendered a dove emerges from the dust, free from pain outside sun shines through skies of rain i grab a handful of sand, tightning the grip knowing how quick life rightfully slips i'm sure time will catch up, somewhere when i'm old but for now its in my hands......mine to control |
Let's get some votes please...I'll set new battles up already though.
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This will be open till Wednesday since verses were dropped only Sunday night.
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damn, both were amazing....drama's had a real good story and sabre's came with an amazing multi, complex rhyming verse. although sabre's does seem incredible in the way it rhymes and is just perfect if it was an open mic, it didn't take his topic into a creative side like drama's. since this is a topical battle, i have to say drama won since she took that one pic and made it into a well written story.....
vote-drama |
OMFG i hate you
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^It'll be up till later tonight, I'll contact people to vote or so (not for me of course, just in general like I asked Tech), you can do the same.
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i'm sorry you hate me sabre, both did good tho....
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i gotta go with sabre here...
His piece was just impressive. DQ you had a good verse but it was bland it held no emotion to me and you worded some stuff poorly. Sabre on the other hand used this topic to his advantage and posted a good verse, with amazing imagery and good emotion. I think both could have used a bit more depth but as far as this battle goes, Sabre's gotta take it, he just took control of the verse and never loosened his grip. It was an easy read yet complex in its own form. DQ: Overall: 7/10 Sabre: Overall: 8.5/10 Vote: Sabre |
Well
Sabre I Liked your piece but I can tell that it was written like right on the spot so it did seem kinda rushed and that seem to me to limit your creativity and to lower your use of vocabulary which is not a big deal but yet ...it is a factor...I Think you did well but you couldve done better you kinda swayed off someways in the middle so thats why i couldnt give my v to you sorry Drama Queen Ok first of all This here "I love you but you are not mine. You belong to them. I’ll always be the one you never spoke of" Was the best line of your drop I feel that it kinda tied in to exactly what that girl was thinkin you pulled out what most people wouldnt see in the picture which I feel was and is a great talent and you stayed focus on yout topic and you connected well with your vocab so that why I give my v/ to YOU My v/ DQ Nice battle |
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