Round 1: inspire
Topic: Shadows
Due: Tuesday April 1st. Line max: 16 lines any more will not be counted. The top 15 will advance. |
They hide things unseen/1
They darken places light has never been/2 They hide what may be your untimely demise/3 Each person has one, always there like spies/4 They're all-seeing but cloud the vision of human eyes/5 Transparent but yet opaque/6 Light makes the shadows awake/7 Shadows is the place i reside/8 No one else here but in them i confide/9 Seeing nothing but everything at the same instance/10 You cant escape them pointless is your resistance/11 They are exactly like you but opposite/12 Where ever there is light there will alwasy be shadows pit/13 Light and Shadow are like brothers, one cannot exist without the other/14 Shadows conceal what light can only uncover.../15 |
closed until judging.
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Start voting.
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how??
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nice piece dawg i was feelin it. This piece stayed on topic perfectly
and i had good vocab and struture. the feelin was kinda there kinda not. if was up in the air. juss barley vote moves on |
pretty nice piece has potential to make a strong competition for next round./..
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lol this poem reminded me of a guessing game.... like palying sherades or something....
But I'm more of a story teller... most peoms are a person telling a story from there heart.... sorry man vote: doesn't go to next round |
Just at times felt a bit too blunt..
...had it's moments of real power and good execution..and if you do go through to the next round, ic an see you as good competition.. ..but my vote for this one: DOES NOT go through tot he next round. |
well i couldnt write this from the heart cause well... theres no shadows in there! whens round 2 going up??
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Quote:
6/10 |
iam gonna put one of my pieces on here
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Hate is such a srong word, but love is even stronger/
when my heart gets broken, i dont want to live no longer/ deep inside i feel weak, and as days go by they can feel harder/ when you say you love me, you better mean it/ if your an abuser than truely your a loser/ myself not a user/ i thought you was great i thought you were super/ but now you mean as much as a pooper scooper/ never there always gone/ i should of know it wouldnt of lasted long/ you chilled wit you boys/ and played me like a toy/ but once you left boy it was joy/ just a little something i put together off the top my head thinkin bout this boy i had who was a tottal dick :thefinger |
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