Take a Glimpse at the Sun
 

The illest has cometh and thou shall be forsaken
Prepare for doometh of thee, death before you waken.

Arise in the west and rest in the east flaxen Sun
My day has come, my time is done, my wars have been won
An inner battle of supremacy within me attacked at thee
The tree I consign my death under, coloured mahogany
A prophet of the angelic regime, my spirit now flees
Alas, a time when I glistened maliciously as a rupee
Is now over, and my soul has been torn from my body
Consumed by the dark and the light, holiness stolen, see
Holy archangel Aaron, brother of Moses, I fought valiantly
I lived to please, my goodness spreading like disease
The tepid calm breeze was my sword hissing viciously
Eliminating wretched death-burden fiends, ever so easily
But possession was a possibility, the definition of quality
Based within my expertise, banishing those unworthy
My personality God bestowed a unique path to lead
His colossal military to a victory of the greatest finale
Holiness versus the damned hatred and destruction alley

Dubbed upon my body was the pure hatred of God and Diablo
Bestowed with conflict I become two half’s of a whole
Undecided, in which path I should turn I left both and became Mortal
Through this portal I became a man with no quarrels
The Sun my microscope magnifying my existence, left mission-less
A free being left to be buoyant in sheer happiness

Upping for feed, please.

Upping, leave links I will leave good feed.

Up, damnit.....

Rhymeing in some places was kind of basic but still got the point across, flow was better later on in the piece, solid imagery throughout and had a complex inner scheme to me...

closeing part was cool to.

Decent mate.

That feedback was completly different from what the rb guys left haha.

Upping ............

it was an alright piece, the problem that i see, is that maybe it has too much vocab, large words bunched together makes the flow choppy, but other than that, piece was straight...Keep droppin
Ez

Woah. A little too constructive, but definately
left Images in my mind. You have a not so
unique, more so creative style. Good read, however.

Hit me up for a collab...or RTF.

Good stuff, leave links if need/want me to leave feed, or pm me because I'll always accept collabs.

Not bad GL.

I didnt so much like the structure, more puncrtuation to create more flow for the reader would have been great. The rhyme scheme was some-what basic, though you did have a few complex parts in there.

Now for the ups.

Very impressive imagery for what you dropped, though you know it could have been better bro. ;) Your flow was only hindered by the fact that you wrote it and we didnt... meaning I dont know how you read it yourself, again, puncuation to portray that man.

This piece is actually better than most of yours that i've read in the past. Keep it up, the staircase never ends.

Peace.

Good stuff, feed is returned, up this crack.

This wasnt that bad of a drop i was really feeling it alittle short for me but i was feeling it yo uhad nice emotions and good feeling , you had a nice creative concept..and decent wordplay and vocab , your lines were alittle complex but not as much as everyone said they were..i was really feeling it nice closer keep it up.

Upping, indeed I am.