Lampejo vs Wordz Ahgod
 

Check in due 3rd of september. 11:59 Pacific
Battles due 7th of september.11:59 Pacific
Voting will end 11th of september. 11:59 Pacific
Next round will go up 12th of september

Looser leaves the tournament :thumbup:

Chicky check doggy....I'll drops later manny fresh.. 1

Word good thing i got on here i thought we wasnt starting this until next week.. Ys' remember what i said... gunna take some time for that ish

A wise man once said:

Let the blood and the sweat run down the rivers bend
Without the bitter sweetness of death there will be no end
Let the baldes of the rose bushes plentifuly rip flesh appart
Because once there has been lost love there will be no heart
Watch as the sand begins to swirl around as the tornado begins
Exposing bone and flesh tear apart as the worldpool start to sing
Coconut sented rasberrys swirl as the earth starts to quake
Without the ground beneth you there is noone left to forsake
With no sight there is no scene without hands there is no touch
Ignorance is bliss but without simplistity there is nothing much
As the world turns the famous sites around the globe burn n crumble
While everything turns to dust and we vanish we all to stay humble
Without the light there can be only darkness, no light not now nor never
Everything around starts to debilitate the evil apears even more cleaver
So what do you do when the world is ending and nowhere to turn
Well to be honest, i simpled said fuck it and let the motherfucker burn

no more solid as the world lumbers weakly
an axis of defiance while alone and lost within
swallowed by unknown faceless extremes
and as the dance slows to a shallow tempo
carve your deities within the hollow cave
while lonliness consumes the sanity
The words of a once wise man echo on threwout eturnity

Alright lets get some votes up in here...

Good luck wordz

Glad we got this up early

yeah ...no point putting it off for ever man. good drop though.

Wordz Ahgod-Your verse was just okay for me man. I felt the simplicity did not work to your advantage in this drop. Your vocabulary was so basic it did not apply to your emotion or verse at all. It had more of a quick text flow then a slow paced topical piece which was sort of bad because it lacked the nessacary imagery you need. Overall it was an okay drop You got your simple point across but the problem is you never elevated from the simple level ill give you a 5/10

Lampejo-This piece was pretty good, I enjoyed the read The emotion was good in your piece...You had a good topical flow unlike your opponent..Your imagery was more appreciatable. This in my eyes was a one sided battle. You had good meaningfull thoughts in your verse which not only let me read but think about what you were saying which made the read much more enjoyable..overall id give you 8/10

v/ Lampejo.

wtf? I was told by peace that this shit was more topical like if you where writing to a song then Poetry like you where writing for a coffee table book.

This tourny is more topical then poetry...

Wordz dont take any offence by it i've been writing for along time and im more known for my writtens then text so dont be offended if you lose... you had a good piece you just need to elevate in some areas... like put some metas in there along with some eternal rhyme scheme and your imagery and emotion could be beefed up aswell.. you just need to write more and think of something completly different granted the piece you wrote might have been from real life there has been 1000 pieces like that written on here and other sites... people like to see abstract writing compared to stuff they ahve seen before

Wordz Ahgod - Too simple, pretty weak vocab, which pretty much created a simplicit vision to run with for me.

Lampejo - Good vocab, created a strong vision too, stayed consistant and you put fourth the topic alot better than your opponent.

Overall - Like Richard said it was a pretty one sided event, most important think in my eyes with topical, is the vision created, and Lampejo was point blank

V/Lampejo

wordz ahgod-- this was kinda simplistic, no real complex rhyme scheme, no inners which made the flow below averageor any complex vocabulary either. The concept was definitely done to death. and the story wasn't developed enough. sorry man

lampejo -i think i left feed on this on rb, but it wasn't that amazing. the font was tough to read and the rhyme scheme was even weaker than wordz'z.. but luckily you used the topic a lot better than he did, and you incorporated some good vocabulary and metaphors... so

vote - lamp

Uppin this for people to get 1 of their 2 votes needed since we are still the only ones to have the battle ready for votes

Ysdat, Keep me in this for next week

Wordz - Your piece had great emotion to it. That was most definately your strong point here. Now you did slip up when it came to the vocabulary, and imagery. This was like a story line but because your choice of words wasn't very vivid or complex, it really didn't give good imagery.

I would try to work on vocab and imagery. Try to really give the reader something to picture in the head. It will double if not triple the entertainment the reader gets from your piece.











I have to leave work, allow me to finsih this when i get home.

lol srry.

As I was saying.....

Overall decent read for someone who doesn't put out a lot of topicals.

Lamp - Your piece was nicely put together. Your vocabulary was very colorful. I fell that some of your lines were a little crammed with higher syllable words which stretched your lines here and there but overall they weren't bad. The imagery was pretty good here, definately better than Wordz' but, he gave more emotion than you did. It evens out though in those two categories.

The structure showed that some of your lines were a bit stretched but I shalln't repeat myself.

overall - I think everything that i've said should some up my decision. Lamp pretty much owned this in everything except for emotion. The only thing I can bash lamp about is his font size. That shit was way too small. I shouldn't have to squint to read a whole piece. I admit i'm not 20/20 vision but, it's quite annoying.

\V/ - Lampejo