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Bitter Tears
Sometimes i cry only bitter tears
Alone in my room so no one can hear Crying only for the pain faced today Fear, hate, and anger leaves kids in dismay Guns trigger war battles to be fought Soon to be another one of us in a cell to be locked Gangs choose the colors spraypaint the grafiti Never does anyone actually keep the treaties Love's gone only hate remains The next generation drives athorities insane For this is why i cry only bitter tears Alone in my room where only God can hear There i edited the capslock prob. |
Short... but to the point. You coulda hit the capslock key before you typed this, but its okay... seemed like you were screaming it at me. ANYWAY though... i liked the way this flowed, and the structure. Topic was nice, and I like the way you started it and ended it with the same two lines. Nice job, keep droppin.
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Hmm...interesting and a well used topic but it was alright. I liked the structure lol the caps was annoying but hey dont matter. It was a decent read. Keep spittin.
Overall grade: 6/10 |
thanx fo the reply. my bad bout the capslock. peace out.
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short read, but it had nice flow and i like the way the opener and closer are closely related
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Good job. Flow, structure, wordplay, scheme and everything were nice. U put ur point across and u put feeling into this. Good job overall, i liked it. Keep it up. Much respect.
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short and shr8 to tha point........ mild deepness
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Thanx for the replies. Give me more feedback on this.
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