My World
 

Trying to ecape this world of mine i built all on my own/
Seeing everybody suffer got me holding on my chrome/
Sometimes i feel i'm helpless, I cant help my own people/
Put a end to this crime i put in work trying to teach'em/
Was young could understand the worth of the green dollar/
Saving up for more money to buy a pistol or revolver/
But me i wan'ted differen't looking out for my younger brother/
Had to make a way help with groceries for my mother/
I pray to god everyminute and everyday of my time/
You ask why i can't tell you a suprise i hide/
These dark secrets running deep inside my soul blood turning cold/
Giving me the thought that i'm abou't to go

ok dawg first off i see potential here.you tried to sorta tell a short story so it was a nice topic,for most part flow was alright but by tryin to even out your bars more it would improve this,vocab was descent,i see you only have 4 posts so as you get used to doin more peices and writing like full songs you will improve.Although this was a descent drop but short,jus keep'em cumin dawg.

Hit mine up if you have a spare minute.


Peace

Nice vokab, Just didn't flow right. Just try to elevate, you'll get better.