Face Down. Ft. The Realist
 

*To Start Of, Sureals Protege, The Realist*

The waitress keep my java cup filled, her company this evening
When I talk she hangs on my words, hooked on my breathing
Nothing like coffee and a beautiful girl to finish a long work day
We finish off the third tray, ride home is late she ask can I stay
Cute blond twenty four and single, waitress to pay for her career
Grew up ugly, braces and pimples, bachelors in two more years
After midnight we stroll to my vehicle, she asks about the horses
She enjoys the leather interior, after all they are stock on Porsches
The conversation drifted to sex, accidentally brush against her thigh
Subtle was useless, the red light was her excuse to kiss as a reply
Pull into her homes garage, we can't keep our hands to ourselves
Both our clothes litter the floor her body is the softest I ever felt
Eventually her apprehension was evident, I minded my own business
Tears told me she didn't want to continue, her first time she did this
In my mind I admit to my perverted hobby, I heard the siren sounds
Rearview reflects to me the one woman I could never face down

*Time To Get Sureal*

Flip Opposite Style, Yet Still Turned Away.
Brain Storms Wild, When Skies Turn To Rain.
Face The World, Always Turn One Blind Eye.
Why Cry, Trip Over Tangles Of Your Own Lies.
Start Throwing Darts, To Pop Life's Purpose.
Not Missing Parts, Are You Getting Nervous?
Always Watch Your Back, Head Up, Face Down.
Never Flip The Trax, Straight Up, Disgraced Now?

This was a good piece...Realist part was good, it had good flow...it was structured very well...i liked the content, made a good visual..vocab was good as well...Sureals part was good too...vocab was good..structure was nice...flowed real well...overall i really liked this piece, it made for a good read, very nicely done, the concept was real good too...keep at it.

and if you could leave some feedback..
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=86787

IT WAS HORRIBLY SHORT BUT THE WORDS PAINTED THE PICTURE AND OUTSIDE THE LENGTH I SAW NO FLAW IT WAS LIKE READING A SONNET TO A BEAT GREAT READ TO YOU BOTH

This was very, very good...

But I'm missing the point, I think...

Did ya rape her?

It sounds like she said no, your hobby is rape, and you left with sirens in ya rearview, ashamed of what ya did...

Did I get this right?

Cuz Sureal's sounds like he's damning and judging you for what happened...

Maybe I completely missed the point, but I smell a Kobe like thing.

But what I read was just bad-ass...

From both...

Even if I missed the meaning, I enjoyed being confused.

Alot.

Peace

95% Correct...
The person who told the story is a FEMALES and shes finally admits to herself that she rapes other women because she has low self esteem...
The rearview mirror in the cop car made her look at herslef and see what all this rape got...

Good reading into it...
Upping

Dope from both,..

Sureal protegé...?..

RoA...Born...lol

But still,..both used some nice vocab,...flow and a real nice topic..feld this piece, ...some deep aspects, ..made this a nice and good read...

Peep..First love..i just dropped it..

Pretty Good Fam...
Keep It Up, Sureal
We Are Collabing
Okay? Okay!........

dope piece i liked it, but i was wondering about that part if you raped her or not.. but other then that it was really good, sir eel killed hit his listens were short but they flowed very well good shit man :)

Realist dropped a good length & the scheme was solid throughout & i was feeling that. . Some great content

The waitress keep my java cup filled, her company this evening
When I talk she hangs on my words, hooked on my breathing

That was a great opener with great imagery. .

Sureal that was a short but sweet drop. . Maybe too short but good none the less. .

Pz

Good stuff...

Nice imagery...
Also left enough to the imaghination so the reader can intepret it different ways..

Good stuff ya'll

thank you all, as usual Sureal shined
I was his opening act
upping

That was a good piece you guys...I agree with what Chrit said. This piece doesn't need critique it's one of the better open mics posted lately.

Check mine out ft. Word Perfect-

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=87818