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Premanition vs. Dabatos
...Topic: Life... ...20 lines max... ...check in due Wednesday... ...Verse due Saturday... ...2 Votes due on Monday... ...Have fun good luck |
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The World We Live In We've engaged a generation, full of bad temptation's... Forgeting there's no replacement for the lives bein taken... I'm tired of being patient, I'm too tired of wait'n Wait'n for this nation to become more amazin.... But what suck's is there will be no amazin transformation... And that's all becuase we had to do a Middle East Envasion... Why is this world full of lie's, full of too little information... We really don't live in any kind of great civilized nation... We live where there will alway's be criminal face's... & even more ppl with un-usual cruel imagination's... It's like we live life to cold, in need of incilation... & i know a cold life isn't a life i'd like to stay in... As you know, before, this wolrd was full of discrimination... From enslavin to putting Native's in reserved location's.. These race's, get hated due to the color of wut their face is.. & the only explanation, is that their heart's full of hated... Wy discrimination???We all the same homosapiens... Maybe we hate all cuz we differ in opinion's and statements... But we don't only suffer of hatred, wut about low pay wages... There, familes for month's only crums from garbage have been tasted.. There's more that got it worst, so you don't even know wut pain is... You try sleepin outside wit no blanket on the cold pavement... |
LIFE - The Gift & The Curse
The Gift An incredible force exerts on my palm but never feel remorse… Situated parallel, converting support as nature takes its course… Exhaustion sets into play, never envisioned new life this way… Memory-ul stay, the sun will never set on this our special day… Along trail of words, hard times conquered equals pale at birth… More than a woman’s worth, first inhalation on our planet earth… Watch as eyelids rise, bright surroundings incorporate no surprise… Young being cries, oral wind or smile?, imagination compromise… Arrival becomes priority, majority of life experiences pollute~ya… Protect and serve to suit her, mission set to ensure this babies future… The Curse Nasal rejecting scents as the polluting fumes fill the room… Awake at noon confused to the volume that I’ve consumed… Vital organs struggle with balanced limitation to performing… Recital of routine, but distressing battle to reach the morning… Destructive flame stakes claim to challenged environment… Energy drained, painful exasperation as lungs require-a-vent… Eyelashes cut through atmosphere as they shadow my vision… Try or die, due to physical condition body concludes a decision… Heavens gates wait patently as suspension of death is prolonged… Life incorporates struggle, but also encourages faith to grow strong… The Gift or The Curse? Which Is Worse? Being Introduced To A Struggle…Or…Being Taken From An Adventure? THE END |
this was very close but my vote goes to premanition.
I.Mind: you had a good peice here but what u lacked was knowledge of a lot more problems in this nation.you had a lot of good multis and i liked the flow of it.i was definatly feeling emotion out of it.but i felt like the topic could have been used better.i feel that there is much more to life then what u talked about.u pointed out important issues and all but not most of them.well it was a good verse overall. Premanition: I liked your verse and how u broke down the gift and the curse like that but i think what u lacked was creativity in the style u used.we all know jay z used the gift and the curse.u could have made up something else and to me i would have been more interested.but anyways u had some good imagery in this and i was feelin the vocab.your peice was more like poetry underground rap and u rhymed in complex ways.and i liked the message of your peice about life.it was basically about the beggining of life and the end.so my vote goes to u. keep it up both of ya'll and good luck on the rest of the votes -One- |
v/prem... Ingenius Mind tried to put in to much vocab where it didnt really fit.. if ur gonna use good vocab at the end of ur lines u should do it all thru all of the line..
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uppin some more votes, thx for the votes so far y'all n gud battle i.mind... pz |
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ok I.Mind..I udnerstand its good to keep the same rhyme scheme..
but this is a topical battle..its always better to hav more emotion in it.. and plus having origninality in it..and you truly need to quit overusing vocab it kills all your flow..but I did like your structure and complexity of it.. Prem. I loved this shit...I sware you rap just like talib kweli..I think you are him.. anyways..I liked how you had the two sides of life in it..which is all true I'm feelin the flow and emotion in it..orignal..nothin bad to say.. vote/prem |
3-0 I mind is K.O.'ed sorry bud....
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