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-   -   d-cËpt!0n vs Personify (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=173710)

Insight. 01-24-05 10:44 AM

d-cËpt!0n vs Personify
 
[SIZE=1]Topical Rules:

40 Lines Max.
No Biting
No Recycling
No DR
NO hopefull votes (people trying out for LC)


Topic: Beneath An Hour Glass[/SIZE]

:cool:

Minimum posts to vote: 250

Check in by: 01-27-05 at 10:44 AM

Must drop verse in 2880 minutes after check in.

System 01-24-05 10:46 AM

d-cËpt!0n has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-24-05 10:46 AM.

System 01-24-05 10:52 AM

Personify has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-24-05 10:52 AM.

Still Motion 01-25-05 03:47 PM

Patients Mind

Beneath the hour glass, souls scream as they pass/
Echoing my fate, until the last date that I last/
Each particle resounds through the caverns-of-my-mind/
Each telling me that i have-run-out-of-time/
As I hear each grain rain on the pile-below/
Feels as if a bloody fist beats me blow by vile-blow/
I see floating in the air, waiting there to spell-my-doom/
I try to escape his proclamtion, but held-by-a-room/
I fell the walls closing in, flood of sand to begin/
The glass cam closer to hug me in the hand of sin/

Save Me
Hastily....
------------------
Our test subject seems to responding to the noise of moving sand/
See the position, the poise of his unmoving hand/
Brain waves show that he's fearful, but nothing is there/
See how but a noise makes something to fear/
Now turn it off, and see how the subject reacts/
He's body convulsing, see the bending of his back/
His heartrate is exploding, showing he's about to die/
3, 2 , 1, his life done, see how its a solid line/
He held up longer than other subjects, proved stronger/
Time to begin test 99, and assign new numbers/ (variables)

Insight. 01-25-05 07:16 PM

The Glass In Between
Breathless and without emotion inside this pane
Keeping inside this brain just to stay the same
Inept wonders desire these nomad thoughts
Trying to seem un-dazed, I like a child have been caught
O shouts and screams to this glass in-between,
You fiend of human upon which we dream.
Inconceivable actions that bring thou to shame,
This horrid name, which has brought un-earthly fame.
This hold is forceful, how will I escape?
Am I to die underneath this and accept my fate?
Is it too late to fight and win this spar?
Have I taken this proportion and have it go to far?
My seconds of salvation come into view,
I break through to see my surroundings O so new.
How do I manage to keep playing this game,
Upon which everyone’s destiny is always the same.

Grains of Sand
Every time a person just wants to fall,
I always end up against this wall.
The hall of broken glass so shattered,
The groups of people who have been flattered.
The sins of those whose morals lie,
Enough of this pressure, I already cried!
The scapegoat job upon which I’m thrown,
Trying to understand the seams that have been sown.
Trying to own all that has been lost,
Trying to repay that debt and all it’s cost.
These sands are nothing, until you know,
Everything that has been beaten, now will grow.
How I wish it would end, no pain at all,
Like memoirs on my knees where I learned to crawl.
Cast upon me like grains of sand,
No one understands I am only one man.
I have my own problems, but no one cares,
When I say fuck you then they get scared.
There door out of life has now been closed,
Your fears and woes inside you show,
How weak you are and how worthless you have become,
For this man has left, what once was two, has become one.


Some metaphors again. Please read carefully.
IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND, DO NOT VOTE

:( I coulda gone on a lot longer, I had a whole nother verse ready, but I realized I reached my line limit.

Insight. 01-26-05 12:31 PM

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Upping^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Insight. 01-26-05 05:32 PM

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Upping^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Still Motion 01-26-05 10:06 PM

upppinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn_________________________ ___

Insight. 01-27-05 11:09 AM

Upping.......................................... .

Insight. 01-27-05 05:35 PM

Upping #4.........................................

K.ontroverz.Y 01-27-05 06:57 PM

This was feedback posted for Personify
 
check in the polls...you gotta win to this dude lol

Insight. 01-27-05 09:13 PM

Upping #5.........................................

Sean Gunner 01-29-05 11:11 AM

This was feedback posted for Personify
 
Checking the polls for myself.........................................

Jason 03-24-05 09:16 PM

Voted For: Personify


Personify
Alright Man You Had A Good Verse Here Nice Imagery Here, I Was Feeling The Vocabulary Here, It FLowed Well, Emotion Was Nice, And Your Structure Was Set Up Well Man, Through Out The Whole Verse You Stuck To The Topic And Never Changed Mata's In Here Nicely Done Man, This Guy Should Be Topical head Of The Month...10/10

Deception
Okay man Not Really A Good Verse, You Didn't Have No Structure On This One Bruh, Your Vocabulary Was Simple And Basic Not To Much Imagery Or Emotion Here, Meta's Add Some Here, To Make It More Intresting Man, And Also Up On Your Vocabulary Coz It's Geting Tired Man

Vote-GD


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