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Stanza vs Whyte Ave
Battles up Monday - Check In by Wednesday - Drop by Friday - votes By Sunday All Battlers most vote on 4 other battles and leave their voting links in their battle thread...Battles voted on may be from either poetry or topical battles.. Extensions mst be asked for by thursday night by pming any of the mods ( Acuity, Drama Queen & Elementality)....No extemsions will be given 4 if asked 4 on firday night..Extensions are only given till sunday night at the most. Battler with most votes by Sunday night is the winner... If this is a topical battle write a topical and not a poetic drop and the same is vice a versa Every battler must nominate (not their own) one topical and poetry battle for pieces of the week, in the main forum...People with pieces of the week shall have their drops stickied and placed in the Pieces Of Inspiration subforum No Line Limit TOPIC:Alone Together |
Check Check ...........is Dis mic on ??
Somebody Turn My mic on Aii There it is check __________________ |
bleh...check...
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Well as I sit In This Room Alone But Together With ..........
I Finnaly Come To Realize That Life Becomes This............ The Mystery Is Mind Bagaling With .......At The End Becuase Me and ......... Were alone but It all Depends On What Was to come On ........ when We were together Maybe Eternal Life With ......Meant That Life Would Get better Well if Your Quit Wondering Who ......Really Is Then Youll Have to ask ....... Where He Lives Then You Can Visit Him And ask Him Who Is He That Sitteth In The room alone And Yet Sitteth With Three? How could that Be .....when Your all Alone Then There is only One Buut From what I Know is That He Has also Sits with The sun He sits with the Moon and he even Sits with the stars He Would Come To Your house If He hade a Car But Yet And Still He Isnt In My Category Of people to see When Im All Alone In My room .................With Three So I Sit In a Room Alone Together With .......*Life* Bcuz Life Is My Price of Dealing With This Strife But we know That Sitting Alone Together Is a Bad thing to Do Because Sitting Alone Together You Might get a visit .......but from who ? Quickie ! |
My Dream
The Sun beams down upon my face Sweat boils on my forehead One last sip of fluid And I again move on The path has turned rough Skin peels back on my feet Blood drips, leaving my mark Glance rearward, hollow emptiness Not a soul within sight They’ve taken the paved path The easy way out I won’t My dream life is at the end Of all these stones and glass A little pain For a lot of joy Is all worth it Just my dream and I Together….Alone |
Meh, this was a below average battle in my opinion. It didn't
really seem like either put too much time into developing a solid idea behind their poems. Stanza, your poem confused the hell out of me to be quite honest. I was lost with all of ..... and randomness of your lines. If there was a concrete idea somewhere in there i'm sorry but i completely missed it. Whyte, not that great from you either man. I really can't say I was feeling your approach but at least I could grasp what you were talking about. Kind of simplistic in you wording and imagery but sometimes that's enough; and in this case it was. V/ Whyte...more coherent/personal preference |
My vote goes to Whyte Ave. because I was feeling his approach a bit more and was also sensing more creativity and imagery in his piece. Both had a quite unusal approach of topic which I enjoyed to read, good emotion as well but Stanza's wasn't as clear as Whyte Ave's drop in my opinion. I like how both of you kept the vocab rather simple, it gave the poem a more serene yet powerful vibe
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Whyte Ave. wins: 2 votes against 0
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