...:::the Ideal:::...
I wish I could say, I knew you would be the one for me, so us holding hands wouldn't feel so arthritic. Silent strokes from a digit, wouldn't scream like a heart, when a knife is poking within it. See, you came at a time, where Love's fine line, was a monolithic barrier, composed of a rusted engagement ring, scorched bible pages, and satin comforters saturated in the finest juices of a former mirage. And for now, I embrace the focus its rancid stench gives me. So, please, only hold me from afar. Kiss me in your fabricated memories of our future. Reflect on ways you've made bedsheets, the initial canvas to sketch a relationship; View me as I view you: temporary whore, and find your ideal...elsewhere. |
wow............ ummmmmmm....... can't help much as far as elevation, bcuz i couldn't find anything wrong with it. structure and vocabulary were great..... my favorite poem i've read so far (except the one i wrote, called all i have. link in my sig). if u aren't in a crew, u should consider joining Trigga Town Inc............ overall 10/10 <----the only one i've ever given out. keep doing what you're doing.
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wow I havent been online for fucking ages and I still have the same amount of feed back.
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Pm Me Two Links To Have This Re-Opened.
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http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2479406
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2479430 Thank You. *Open* |
any chance in getting some feed back on this atticus
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wow.
upping this drop. |
Ya Man, I'll Check It When I Get Home From School.
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^must be a long day at school
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YO THIS WAS NICE..9/10...not much i can say to hate on you...lol
favourite lines: scorched bible pages, and satin comforters saturated in the finest juices of a former mirage. AND So, please, only hold me from afar. Kiss me in your fabricated memories of our future. Reflect on ways you've made bedsheets, the initial canvas to sketch a relationship; |
wow this was good id like to see you in the verbal emotions and the poetry league u would be a defianate contender great piece
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holy shit....dope ass poem fo sho.......vocab n structure were ON point.....dis is da first poem i've read dat has nothing wrong w/ it.......wow.....still awe struck....keep up da good work n hit me up sometime for a collab
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^
thanks ma Yeah pm me when ya want a collab. This is one of the better drops in this forum..why is not nominated or anything? |
up like erections
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