Eat Yer Brain Food
 

Hi there, this is a battle rap I put together and used against someone. I wondered if you guys could look it over and give me some feedback?

# say hello to the new born, they call me the street locksmith
# people scared to step outta line, i got this place locked stiff
# you just a rowdy ass she-gro with a mind like a bird brain
# your head so light son, it envy the weight of my gold chain
# on the street like "wait a second, is dey fwee bullets or fo'"
# by the time your gun loaded "oh gawd, been shot, ain't bweathin no maw!"
# this battle take less rounds then a tyson/woody allen showdown
# verbally slaughter you then get you physically mowed down
# now it's the world's favourite six-three on the brand new high roll
# you just a has-been like 3rd place at last years American Idol
# ya full of yourself like a Jenna Jameson solo-porno flick
# carrying a 2-inch glock so it don't upstage the small-scale size of ya dick
# screw this gangsta sh*t, i've decided i'm staying real
# now best go eat some brain food, it looks like it could really use meal

i think you have some potential-some tight lines some aight multis, but you need to work on your sylables, some of your lines are longer than others. keep it up though!