The Suspense Is Killing Me
 

I sit perched near the edge
....................................of
.......................................the
............................................cliff
attempting to trick my brain into thinking I can fly.



I stare down to the gorge and see something in the sky
mesmerizing reflections from the river, details clouds shaped as my eyes
Wait can I fly? I spread my arms and hope the wind launches me delicately
memory of H.E.R pulsing in my eardrum, sounding so elegantly
tryna detach myself from what is now walking a road of self destruction
I no longer want to live as i witness such a serious health malfunction
there was once a ticking moment on the clock I would of lent H.E.R my heart
used to be a sentence of art, now shes judged on what we spending on cars
a bird glides below the cliff edge I stand on... feels like a change of positions
posters on walls, pictures on milk, because for years shes been missing
screaming! shouting! chains like slaves around the neck are replacing the rhythm
hate is whats driven H.E.R to be soulless when part of her blatantly isnt
if shes dead I have no reason to live, this wait is a prison
Please say that shes missing and no longer playing games with the living
Placing my left foot off the edge of the cliff, I balance like a trapeze act talented
whoring herself, price on her existence, main focus is false image and selling it
I do the opposite of crack, this time I lean forward ... plummet to my demise
loving her is lies, shes fucking with other guys, I wish she was the same..
.................................................. ..............but no one hears my cries

quick simple metaphorical peice. I dont need to drop links cause I know I have replied. lol. just tryna generate activity in here.

Feedback?

This sites great!!!

shits pretty dope man, when you are referring to "her" is this in reference to hip hop??
couple of the lines made it seem that way.
..anyways, I liked it keep it coming.

Pretty deep stuff man i like the words you used made it sound all touchy..
^^same what he said what are you speaking of HER?

DOPE!!

im diggin it like the words and imagery u used

Yup 'her' is hip hop. Thanks for the feed.

This is dope shit. It's nice to read an open mic where the writer doesnt seem like they have downs or something. Only criticism i can give is the lines are pretty long, obviously that would mess with the flow if it was recorded. But this is text, fuck it right. Hey Got Soul who are you? Indeph?

I sit perched near the edge
....................................of
.......................................the
............................................cliff
attempting to trick my brain into thinking I can fly.

i see where your going with this but if you used more descripted writing you could really make them picture it happening in front of them.



I stare down to the gorge and see something in the sky
mesmerizing reflections from the river, details clouds shaped as my eyes
you stare down into the gorge and see your eyes in the sky are you saying you god'like?

Wait can I fly? I spread my arms and hope the wind launches me delicately
memory of H.E.R pulsing in my eardrum, sounding so elegantly
writting nicely is her a acronym or are you abut commit suicide over a chick.

tryna detach myself from what is now walking a road of self destruction
I no longer want to live as i witness such a serious health malfunction

so you're trying to detach your self from destruction by killing yourself?

there was once a ticking moment on the clock I would of lent H.E.R my heart
used to be a sentence of art, now shes judged on what we spending on cars

ok her is hip hop so a ode to common's joint, so killing yourself would mean your done with hip hop

a bird glides below the cliff edge I stand on... feels like a change of positions
posters on walls, pictures on milk, because for years shes been missing

yes real content and topics have been missing in hip hop for years

screaming! shouting! chains like slaves around the neck are replacing the rhythm
hate is whats driven H.E.R to be soulless when part of her blatantly isnt

true most artist get the bling and big cars becaus they hate how the grew up
and want to erase it from their memory quick as possible.

if shes dead I have no reason to live, this wait is a prison
Please say that shes missing and no longer playing games with the living

she's always been missing bro, a mirage she never was there hip hop was a trap to occupy off of real issues.

Placing my left foot off the edge of the cliff, I balance like a trapeze act talented
whoring herself, price on her existence, main focus is false image and selling it

so you still chose to worship hip hop even though you know its false.

I do the opposite of crack, this time I lean forward ... plummet to my demise
crack does make yo lean back heroin does but yeah i feel you.

loving her is lies, shes fucking with other guys, I wish she was the same..
.................................................. ..............but no one hears my cries

she was a big lie bro

nice job i was going to hit on the fluidity sctructure all of that is blah
when you have a real message i like it. keep dropping